Monday, December 14, 2009
Comedy of Biblical Proportions
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
A Song for a Son
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
The things that make money now-a-days
Wow, seriously...New Moon was incredibly terrible. It made Transformers 2 look like...well ok Transformers 2 still sucked big time. Mike Nelson said it best, "An inexplicable cultural phenomenon." Vampire love story with sparkles? I don't think so thank you. I took my wife to see the film on Friday night and couldn't help but notice how hard the rest of the theater laughed along with us on the crummiest of scenes. The dialogue was so cheesey that I almost had to pull ritz crackers out of my pants to absorb it all. The scene where they ran through the forest like Hansel and Gretel? I almost upchucked a bread trail from my seat to the bathroom. The only redeeming quality was when a wolf bit a Jamaican's head off, and when Jacob took his shirt off and all of the girls screamed with glee....and then moments later I chimed in with, "Oh YES! Jacob, take it off! I dig them Pecs! WOOOHOOOO!" This garnered quite a few chuckles. -10 points for having the head of the vampire council look exactly like the kid catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. BLECH!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Go Colts
Go Colts...Seriously...that is all I can really say. Down by 17, you outscore your bitter BITTER rivals 21-3 in the 4th quarter. I'll be honest, I lost hope and went to McDonalds only to hear the radio tell me how close it was. I came speeding home to witness glory. Thanks Peyton, I've felt like a million bucks all day and have really learned a life lesson from you. Sieze all oppurtunities even when the world is kicking dirt in your face. Damrias Jariac- JR
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Halloween...
Into our flesh-pink home of hearts, we greet you with a bow
So entertain we must (We may!) our pleasure from within
The Oingo Boingo treasure chest of lust and mortal sin
We'll take you to a place you'd like to visit least of all
Where great-great aunts and uncles died and worms and spiders crawl
The graveyard is a peaceful place where people tread about
But late at night the tenants leave their rooms to sing and shout
So take heed, brothers, the full moon grows
And may the good Lord save your souls!"- Danny Elfman- Oingo Boingo
I love this Holiday. A chance to watch scary movies that aren't actually scary. A chance to dress like a fool...a ruse of fool...a chance to scream at the moon and terrify one another. Bless this most hallowed of eves...bless it. - out
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
80's ROCKED, This generation is LAME
A friend and I were pondering 80's breakfast cereals during our break today...
What?
Serious?
Yes, it's true. We googled images of long forgotten breakfast cereals. We discussed classic 80's cartoons, and the fact that this generation has totally missed out on good stuff.
Let's use Cartoons as an example:
GI JOE
Transformers
He-man
Voltron
Thunder thunder thunder thunder cats HOOOOOOOO!
Ghostbusters
Eek the Cat
Bobby's World (don't ya know)
X-men
Batman
Tazmania
Loony Tunes
Duck Tales
Chip n Dale's rescue rangers.
I could go on and on with this list of incredibly cool cartoons.
What do we see when we turn the tv on now?
Pokemon
Yugio
and a bunch of other LAME Japanese wannabe shows where instead of defending Eternia or Thundera, people throw playing cards at each other with monsters on them....
seriously what the heck?
"Pikachu I choose you! to fight my battles because I'm too much of a wuss to jump into a Vultron vehicle and do it myself"
When I used to get cereal, there were PRIZES in the cereal. Magic Tricks. Baseball cards, action figures, cool spoons, etc. Now a days "If you collect 4 upc codes and mail them in with shipping costs, we'll send you a Hannah Montana dvd!!!"
LAME LAME LAME!
I say take me back to the day with Ninja Turtle Pies (remember, those hostess pies that had green Vanilla filling? eh? THAT WAS CLASSIC)
I hung a poster of Jacob next to Edward from twilight in my classroom today. I put up captions next to them saying, "Duck Season" "Wabbit Season" "Duck Season" "Wabbit Season"
My students didn't get the joke...How...sad...is that- out
Monday, October 5, 2009
Solved the Energy Crisis!
Sure maybe when you grab the nozzle to fill up your car you hear a whale moaning sound, but hey! It's not going to run out any time soon right? I mean we eat burgers from McDonalds, we eat Chickens from KFC, we eat whatever the heck it is that Taco Bell uses too right? I'm going to start a campaign. This is going to get me straight to the White House. It's even better than my "Nuke the Moon" idea. Sometimes it hurts to be this smart ladies and gentlemen...sometimes.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Are we Human? Or are we Dancer?
Thursday, September 24, 2009
WTF?
So these are the lyrics of the song the teachers taught their kids to sing in a 2nd grade class in New Jersey:
Song 1:
Mm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama
He said that all must lend a hand
To make this country strong again
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama
He said we must be fair today
Equal work means equal pay
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama
He said that we must take a stand
To make sure everyone gets a chance
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama
He said red, yellow, black or white
All are equal in his sight (this line taken from a song about Jesus)
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama
Yes!
Mmm, mmm, mm
Barack Hussein Obama
Scary that this is being sung in a school. To be fair- here's my song
Mmm mmm mmm George W. Bush
Spent money like a Democrat
Made the terrorists go kersplat
mmm mmm mm George W. Bush
Screwed us with no child left behind
A coherant sentence I can't find
mmm mmm mm George W. Bush
His VP shot someone in the face
But made America a safer place
Mmm mmm mm George W. Bush
The last 4 presidents that we've had
At time have all been pretty bad
Mmm mmm mm Bush Clinton Bush Obama... ...Conan O'brien
Monday, September 21, 2009
Beauty?
What is Beauty?
What makes one part of the country more beautiful than another?
What makes her better looking than her, or him better looking than him?
It's all perspective. It's all neutral now.
I'm half asleep typing this, but I'll try to make sense of it.
In Star Wars there is a light side of the force and a dark side of the force. But if you didn't know about the light side or the dark side then there would just be "force" right?
If you looked at beautiful portraits all day, then some kind of abstract painting would look "ugly" right? What if it's just different?
Take music for example. You have a vast variety of tunes yes? Some might think that Enya is beautiful, and it is, it evokes certain emotions of peace. What about a loud screaming rock song? Well that's "ugly" because it evokes sad or angry emotions. Well that's true, but is there beauty in the ability to think or feel differently? It's not necessarily the dark side of the force, it's just a different way of using the force, and if we keep that perspective then it doesn't bring me down. For every Da vinci there needs to be Van Gogh right?
I can listen to "make me happy" songs all day and be cheerful, but then something bad happens and I can't deal with it. If I listen to sad songs all day then I'm never happy and life is miserable. If I mix it up, explore the emotional ranges out there, then I'm better equipped to handle emotions when they really show up.
Make sense? No, not really.
Look I see students EVERY DAY who only listen to gangsta rap, or only listen to screaming metal songs, they never smile, they frown and they bring us all down. Mix it up you guys. For every Manson song there MUST be some Boston. For every Disturbed song there MUST be a fun 80's tune. Get the balance right.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Your Own...Personal...Justin
The t-shirts were $40 so instead I just ordered a live recording of that night's show. How cool is that? I mean once a concert ends...it ends. But what if you have a real recording of it? I've tried to post some video (that I didn't take, I found it on Youtube from other posters)
Highlights of the night were:
1- Being with my sweet smoking hot wife and having a babysitter
2-Precious
3-Personal Jesus
4- Policy of Truth
5-I feel you
6-Shake the disease (on piano/vocal solo, so freaking beautiful...sniff)
7-WRONG!
8- Enjoy the Silence
9- Fly on the windscreen (basically everything off of black celebration was sweet)
Heck all of the songs were epic. Precious, Personal Jesus, and Policy of truth are 3 of my favorite songs from any band EVER anyways.
If you haven't heard any of those 3 songs, two of them are below, and precious is totally worth a download from Itunes. So many memories from that song: namely my wife and I dating back in the day. Love to all, Thanks for another epic show DM!- Out
Monday, August 24, 2009
Inglorious Football
A few observations:
1. This year’s students seem to be pretty stable. I can only identify 2-3 who look like possible “shooters” as it were. Good kids mostly. I forget how much fun it is to be in front of the classroom sometimes. I really love my job.
2. I love the fall. Football season is upon us. I drafted my fantasy team just last night (and made many mistakes, I’m screwed.) I love the weather; I love the smell in the air. I love the cold nights with my window open. I love the food. “There’s fall food?” Yes there is; it’s called football food. Deli sandwiches, hot dogs, burgers, chips, dips, sodas, and all inhaled while I watch the game with friends, family, and the occasional pet.
3. Health care: bla bla bla left wing, bla bla bla right wing. Just fix it, don’t go broke doing it, and don’t screw with my plan. If I lose it I’ll be pissed. My son cost less than my Nintendo Wii did because I have excellent coverage. My co-worker got over $60,000 worth of work done on his back this summer…cost him $100. I know there are problems that need to be fixed. I support fixing them, but if I lose my coverage because the district I work for feels that a public option is better…
4. Inglorious Basterds. Yes that is the spelling on that second word. I’m about to teach my students a book called, “Night.” It is written by Elie Wiessel and is shocking, terrible, horrific, and beautiful. By the end of the book you want to kill the Nazis for what they did. This movie let me enjoy that fantasy. Quentin Tarantino directs this incredibly gory “Nazi killing fest.” When Brad Pitt’s character tells his brigade of 8 Jewish soldiers that he, “wants him some Nazi (pronounced Nat zee) scalps”, he gets them. And we get to watch the Nazi’s get scalped. My friend Dave and I went to see it together and were the only ones laughing our heads off in the whole theater during the last scene. SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT STOP READING IF YOU PLAN TO SEE IT: When the Basterds spring their trap in a French movie theater, and start gunning down all of the leaders of the 3rd Reich, including the fhurer himself (Hitler), I was nearly in tears with joy and laughter. Hitler gets shot and killed, and then a Jewish soldier trains his machine gun on Hitler’s lifeless body for a few great seconds of corpse desecration. The directing was genius, the violence was enjoyed (Jew on Nazi violence is approved), and good times were had.
Stay Strong, Rock on, I’m out- JR
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Photo Shoot on the Salt Flats
My good friend Lane and I took a few colorful characters out near Wendover to shoot pics. The gentleman dressed as Jack Sparrow was a professional impersonator of the character. In the middle of the shoot people started wandering out towards us (roughly 150 yds in the middle of the flats) to see if it was really "him." He was great, he would walk up to them in character and ask, "what the blazes they were doing out here in Davy Jones' Locker" and such stuff. Great times were had. Photo shoots like this are a one in a million experience...oh and you KNOW I dig the Jedi pic. Enjoy- JR
My good friend Lane and I took a few colorful characters out near Wendover to shoot pics. The gentleman dressed as Jack Sparrow was a professional impersonator of the character. In the middle of the shoot people started wandering out towards us (roughly 150 yds in the middle of the flats) to see if it was really "him." He was great, he would walk up to them in character and ask, "what the blazes they were doing out here in Davy Jones' Locker" and such stuff. Great times were had. Photo shoots like this are a one in a million experience...oh and you KNOW I dig the Jedi pic. Enjoy- JR
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
A BEAR ATE MY FREAKING CAMERA
Isn't that lovely and family friendly? Deer running around and no hunters in site...well a couple of hours after these deer got their picture taken, our camera had a little visitor...
Why is the camera spinning?
A large black hairy arm seems to be batting at my camera...
From what we can tell, this is the nose of the beast....
His ear? His rear? Not sure what part this is (black shape at the right)
And the camera rests at the foot of the tree...
My new motion senson camera with a large tooth mark right through the motion sensor.
This experience was freaking awesome. Rock and Roll- Out
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Ten Things I've Learned from Teaching High School Thus Far
10. This generation doesn't know how to spell very well. Didn't = Dident and the other day Karl Malone = Karul Maloon.
9. This generation has a hard time communicating. Take away the texts, the IM's the Facebook and the Myspace and these kids would be helpless. If you want to control the population in the future just cut the power off. Nobody would talk, hence nobody would breed.
8. These kids have seen some messed up stuff. In reply to some of my journal prompts I find out that these kids have occasionally seen car accident and murder victims up close and personal.
7. This generation has a foul mouth. You'd blush if you heard half of the stuff I've heard in class. Someone needs to get some soap out and wash them good right in the mouth.
6. This generation has only read two book series: Harry Potter/Twilight. After that there is NO reading whatsoever unless I force them to read it in class. So their knowledge of literature is either kids at wizard school or sparkly glowy vampires. If you asked them what Moby Dick was they'd just start snickering at the title.
5. They can't live without I-pods. Seriously they run the headphone cord up through their shirt and have them dangling there by their chin. If they didn't have the tunes to throw on every time there is a lull, they would die of stress since they no longer have any idea how to hold real conversations (see number 9).
4. This generation lacks some pretty basic knowledge. Two days ago I had a 16 year old student ask me what state "Chicago" was in. I nearly collapsed from the shock. "Who's the Vice President?" ....silence... How about, "Can you drive to Alaska?" "No Mr. Reeves, it's an Island silly!" (Weeping in corner in fetal position) Is it possible that in order to register to vote you should need to be able to pass an IQ exam? Not genius level or anything, just a basic high school level equivelancy test. I don't want you voting if you think the first president was Lincoln or if you think that Hawaii isn't a state.
3. These kids are big fans of violence. My sophomores worship UFC fighting and they recreate these fights in their back yards on weekends. They thrive on Death Metal and have seen more R rated films than I have, and I'm 27. Seriously, when a kid starts saying he liked Saw IV better than Saw III and debates another student on the topic...we have issues.
2. I blame the lack of parenting. Parents please...PLEAAAAASE Don't SUCK! Do not buy your kid an X-box and give them games to play to keep em quiet. INTERACT WITH THEM! PLAY EDUCATIONAL GAMES WITH THEM! Why do my students text all the time? Parents bought them a phone. Why are they on their I-pods all day? Parents bought them an I-pod. They buy them cars, video games, whatever the kids want. My journal prompt tomorrow is going to be, "What do you deserve?" I'll leave it at that and see what they come up with. Given that a good portion of our nation thinks they deserve money from the government because...ummm I can't or won't work. I think they'll come up with some interesting answers. If your kid is a low level in school, is obsessed with violence because you bought them "300" or "Saw IV" For Christmas, thinks the world shold be given to them, then FIX IT! GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND FIX IT! The future is in their hands...and their hands are holding a video game controller.
1. Despite the negatives I've ranted about, there are some AWESOME kids coming out of my classes. I have a kid today who can draw Anime freehand like a pro. I have comissioned a portrait from him. I have students who listen attentively, they get the instructions right the first time cause they don't have headphones on their ears or their hands in their pockets trying to text sneakily so that I won't see. They work part time jobs after school and they keep their grades up so they can accell at life. They try very very hard to earn their A's while other students sit by and are happy with a C-, a D, and sometimes even an F. It saddens me that as soon as they enter the work force, my A students with their well deserved paychecks are going to be taxed more so that there can be benefits for my D students who couldn't get a decent job with a resume that says, "i beat Halo 3 on hard mode and i can play drums on Rockband" (notice the i's aren't capitalized...texting ruined that in this generation too)
The future is what we make it...John and Sarah Connor taught me that. "There is no fate but what we make" So let's get rid of the metaphorical Myles Dysons that are ruining our future and raise our kids in a world with no skynet. I'll be back... DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN.....DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN ......DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Quick Thought, I'll do a more in depth blog about life later this week. SO SO BUSY!
It’s amazing to me how many people think that voting to have the government give poor people money is compassion. Helping poor and suffering people yourself is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral self-righteous bullying laziness. People need to be fed, medicated, educated, clothed, and sheltered. If we’re compassionate, we’ll help them, but you get no moral credit for forcing other people to do what you think is right. There is great joy in helping people, but no joy in doing it at gunpoint. "- Penn Teller
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thriller is gone, Transformers 2 Review
So yesterday was pretty interesting. We lost Michael Jackson, and that sucks. I know he was somewhat weird towards the end of his career, but the guy was never convicted of anything he was accused of, and I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He is the greatest entertainer to ever walk the planet. Would you rather see a Beatles concert or the Thriller tour? That's what I thought...
So today I rocked some classic MJ on the way to teach summer school at Lehi High School. I'm teaching my students how to utilize word choice in their writing. I showed them the Thriller music video (yes the whole thing...so freaking classic) and then had them write it as a story with interesting descriptions of what was happening. I didn't want: The zombies danced... I wanted: The living dead lurched forward in rhythm as their putrid corpses shed old skin and organs on the cold pavement.
It went over well and the students dug it. They are a totally different generation, I don't think they really got the coolness of the Thriller.
So I dedicate today to you Michael Jackson. Despite what the public says, you gave MILLIONS to charity, you entertained, and you had a rough life. God Bless you.
In other words, I sat through 2 hours and 45 minutes of Transformers 2 last night...my dreams of a great sequel were blown up in my face. Were the action scenes incredible? Yes, yes they were. But did those scenes make sitting through dogs humping, transformers humping, men in thongs, and terribly conceived plot twists and such? No
Will it look great on Blu ray? Yes, some parts will, but I left that theater with no desire for them to make a third one. I'm the black sheep I guess cause all of my family and friends thought the action was so great that it totally outshined the lame factor. I can't agree with that. Darth Maul was cool enough to out shine Jar Jar's ineptitude, but when a transformer goes at it on the fox girls' leg for 10 seconds, there is just no saving the movie. 1 star for great action. -5 stars for robot on human leg action- JR
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The Letter...
I'm a home grown American citizen, 53, registered Democrat all my life. Before the last presidential election I registered as a Republican because I no longer felt the Democratic Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. Now I no longer feel the Republican Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. The fact is I no longer feel any political party or representative in Washington represents my views or works to pursue the issues important to me. There must be someone. Please tell me who you are. Please stand up and tell me that you are there and that you're willing to fight for our Constitution as it was written. Please stand up now. You might ask yourself what my views and issues are that I would horribly feel so disenfranchised by both major political parties. What kind of nut job am I? Will you please tell me?
Well, these are briefly my views and issues for which I seek representation:
One, illegal immigration. I want you to stop coddling illegal immigrants and secure our borders. Close the underground tunnels. Stop the violence and the trafficking in drugs and people. No amnesty, not again. Been there, done that, no resolution. P.S., I'm not a racist. This isn't to be confused with legal immigration.
Glenn Beck's Common Sense
Now available in book stores nationwide...
Two, the TARP bill, I want it repealed and I want no further funding supplied to it. We told you no, but you did it anyway. I want the remaining unfunded 95% repealed. Freeze, repeal.
Three: Czars, I want the circumvention of our checks and balances stopped immediately. Fire the czars. No more czars. Government officials answer to the process, not to the president. Stop trampling on our Constitution and honor it.
Four, cap and trade. The debate on global warming is not over. There is more to say.
Five, universal healthcare. I will not be rushed into another expensive decision. Don't you dare try to pass this in the middle of the night and then go on break. Slow down!
Six, growing government control. I want states rights and sovereignty fully restored. I want less government in my life, not more. Shrink it down. Mind your own business. You have enough to take care of with your real obligations. Why don't you start there.
Seven, ACORN. I do not want ACORN and its affiliates in charge of our 2010 census. I want them investigated. I also do not want mandatory escrow fees contributed to them every time on every real estate deal that closes. Stop the funding to ACORN and its affiliates pending impartial audits and investigations. I do not trust them with taking the census over with our taxpayer money. I don't trust them with our taxpayer money. Face up to the allegations against them and get it resolved before taxpayers get any more involved with them. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, hello. Stop protecting your political buddies. You work for us, the people. Investigate.
Eight, redistribution of wealth. No, no, no. I work for my money. It is mine. I have always worked for people with more money than I have because they gave me jobs. That is the only redistribution of wealth that I will support. I never got a job from a poor person. Why do you want me to hate my employers? Why ‑‑ what do you have against shareholders making a profit?
Nine, charitable contributions. Although I never got a job from a poor person, I have helped many in need. Charity belongs in our local communities, where we know our needs best and can use our local talent and our local resources. Butt out, please. We want to do it ourselves.
Ten, corporate bailouts. Knock it off. Sink or swim like the rest of us. If there are hard times ahead, we'll be better off just getting into it and letting the strong survive. Quick and painful. Have you ever ripped off a Band‑Aid? We will pull together. Great things happen in America under great hardship. Give us the chance to innovate. We cannot disappoint you more than you have disappointed us.
Eleven, transparency and accountability. How about it? No, really, how about it? Let's have it. Let's say we give the buzzwords a rest and have some straight honest talk. Please try ‑‑ please stop manipulating and trying to appease me with clever wording. I am not the idiot you obviously take me for. Stop sneaking around and meeting in back rooms making deals with your friends. It will only be a prelude to your criminal investigation. Stop hiding things from me.
Twelve, unprecedented quick spending. Stop it now.
Take a breath. Listen to the people. Let's just slow down and get some input from some nonpoliticians on the subject. Stop making everything an emergency. Stop speed reading our bills into law. I am not an activist. I am not a community organizer. Nor am I a terrorist, a militant or a violent person. I am a parent and a grandparent. I work. I'm busy. I'm busy. I am busy, and I am tired. I thought we elected competent people to take care of the business of government so that we could work, raise our families, pay our bills, have a little recreation, complain about taxes, endure our hardships, pursue our personal goals, cut our lawn, wash our cars on the weekends and be responsible contributing members of society and teach our children to be the same all while living in the home of the free and land of the brave.
I entrusted you with upholding the Constitution. I believed in the checks and balances to keep from getting far off course. What happened? You are very far off course. Do you really think I find humor in the hiring of a speed reader to unintelligently ramble all through a bill that you signed into law without knowing what it contained? I do not. It is a mockery of the responsibility I have entrusted to you. It is a slap in the face. I am not laughing at your arrogance. Why is it that I feel as if you would not trust me to make a single decision about my own life and how I would live it but you should expect that I should trust you with the debt that you have laid on all of us and our children. We did not want the TARP bill. We said no. We would repeal it if we could. I am sure that we still cannot. There is such urgency and recklessness in all of the recent spending.
From my perspective, it seems that all of you have gone insane. I also know that I am far from alone in these feelings. Do you honestly feel that your current pursuits have merit to patriotic Americans? We want it to stop. We want to put the brakes on everything that is being rushed by us and forced upon us. We want our voice back. You have forced us to put our lives on hold to straighten out the mess that you are making. We will have to give up our vacations, our time spent with our children, any relaxation time we may have had and money we cannot afford to spend on you to bring our concerns to Washington. Our president often knows all the right buzzword is unsustainable. Well, no kidding. How many tens of thousands of dollars did the focus group cost to come up with that word? We don't want your overpriced words. Stop treating us like we're morons.
We want all of you to stop focusing on your reelection and do the job we want done, not the job you want done or the job your party wants done. You work for us and at this rate I guarantee you not for long because we are coming. We will be heard and we will be represented. You think we're so busy with our lives that we will never come for you? We are the formerly silent majority, all of us who quietly work , pay taxes, obey the law, vote, save money, keep our noses to the grindstone and we are now looking up at you. You have awakened us, the patriotic spirit so strong and so powerful that it had been sleeping too long. You have pushed us too far. Our numbers are great. They may surprise you. For every one of us who will be there, there will be hundreds more that could not come. Unlike you, we have their trust. We will represent them honestly, rest assured. They will be at the polls on voting day to usher you out of office. We have cancelled vacations. We will use our last few dollars saved. We will find the representation among us and a grassroots campaign will flourish. We didn't ask for this fight. But the gloves are coming off. We do not come in violence, but we are angry. You will represent us or you will be replaced with someone who will. There are candidates among us when hewill rise like a Phoenix from the ashes that you have made of our constitution.
Democrat, Republican, independent, libertarian. Understand this. We don't care. Political parties are meaningless to us. Patriotic Americans are willing to do right by us and our Constitution and that is all that matters to us now. We are going to fire all of you who abuse power and seek more. It is not your power. It is ours and we want it back. We entrusted you with it and you abused it. You are dishonorable. You are dishonest. As Americans we are ashamed of you. You have brought shame to us. If you are not representing the wants and needs of your constituency loudly and consistently, in spite of the objections of your party, you will be fired. Did you hear? We no longer care about your political parties. You need to be loyal to us, not to them. Because we will get you fired and they will not save you. If you do or can represent me, my issues, my views, please stand up. Make your identity known. You need to make some noise about it. Speak up. I need to know who you are. If you do not speak up, you will be herded out with the rest of the sheep and we will replace the whole damn congress if need be one by one. We are coming. Are we coming for you? Who do you represent? What do you represent? Listen. Because we are coming. We the people are coming.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Check out the Classics
So I blog fairly often about my love for movies. I'd like to stop for a moment and talk about "films." But wait Justin, aren't films and movies the same thing? Well sorta, but then again a Big Mac and a Whopper are both Cheeseburgers...which cause intestinal problems...but they taste different.
So this week I went and grabbed a couple of really good films, Namely: Psycho (the Original) and The Birds. Both of these are Hitchcock films and both are amazingly cool. For those of you who need an example of the difference between a movie and a film, let's look at Disturbia vs. Rear Window (yet another Hitchcock film).
They both have the exact same plot, (I hear that Disturbia got sued over it actually) a person sits in their house with a telescope and become really paranoid of their neighbor whom they suspect of murder most foul.
The big difference is that Disturbia is more "in your face" and blunt. Rear window is a masterpiece in suspenseful film making. It leaves you guessing til the last frame.
There are moments in movies that give me goosebumps and most of them are in older movies. These aren't fear goosebumps, these are "oh my gosh this is crazy cool" goosebumps.
1. Raiders of the Lost Ark: "It's beautiful"- then the angel turns into a screaming ghost skeleton and the Nazi's melt
2. Jaws: Quint's speech about the USS Indianapolis
3. Psycho: We finally meet Mrs. Bates...holy crap I almost had to change my shorts
The list goes on of course, but yeah, Hitchcock and Spielberg are the masters of making good movies.
IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE ORIGINAL PSYCHO, COME BORROW IT, GO RENT IT, JUST SEE IT!!!
Anywho, yes, if you've seen a good film (not a cool movie) that you think others should see, then message me and I'll post them.
Run Lola Run
Gran Torino (if you can find a language edited one that's best)
Letters from Iwo Jima
Flags of Our Fathers
Moulin Rouge
-out
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
My Book thus far...just go with it. It's gonna be a hit
Chuck & Lester’s Fables
The Duck and the Land Mine:
Once there was a duck name Wendell. He was a mallard duck, which meant that his head was a greenish hue. It looked kind of like boiled spinach. One day he decided to fly to a new pond, since his old pond was starting to become stale and unpopular according to some new wave magazine. On the way to the new pond he stopped to waddle in a field, as ducks are wont to do. Three steps after he landed, he stepped on a land mine and blew up. Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
The Elephant and the Porcelain Tree
Once there was an elephant named Wendell. He was named after a famous duck who had given his life in the pursuit of being “fresh.” Wendell the elephant loved to play tricks on other animals by filling his trunk with water and then spraying them at inopportune moments. He also liked to charge tourists and make them wet themselves. His goal was to make it on a clip on one of those attacking animals shows that gets played over and over on cable TV. One day, he was charging a tourist who was off exploring on his own. The tourist moved out of the way and Wendell the elephant ran head on into a porcelain tree. Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
The Rattlesnake and Boy Scout Troop 1632
Once there was a snake named Wen….named Rufus. Not a very good name for a snake is it? Well Rufus was slithering down a path when he came upon a camp of boy scouts. They were all dressed in their tan shirts, green shorts, scarves, and loooong socks. Knowing full well that boy scouts loved and respected nature; Rufus decided to make himself known to the boys by rattling. He figured that they would try to identify him with their field guides and take pictures of him with their poorly assembled disposable cameras. After 30 seconds of rattling he noticed the boys were looking in his direction. Rufus was excited to get showered with attention as the boys approached. Suddenly, the reddest haired and portliest of the boys took out a shovel and crushed Rufus’ skull. Things went dark pretty quickly after the initial hit. Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
The Humming Bird and the Tennis Match
Once there was a humming bird named Jerry. He was proud to be a member of the most ADD animal species in the entire animal kingdom. He liked to go to parks, no wait this park is boring, now he liked to go to post offices, no their stamps are getting too pricey, now he liked to go to shopping centers….You get the point right? Jerry can’t stay still. His wings beat at over 200 flaps a minute. 300 if he was fast enough to sneak some coffee from an unsuspecting Flemish painter. One day he saw a curious yellow orb, and he decided to investigate. Upon further inspection he saw that there were many of these yellow orbs flying back and forth in a big green rectangle. Jerry decided to zip in closer and suck the nectar out of one of these yellow orbs when suddenly his life came to an end as someone yelled out, “Fourty Love!” Jerry didn’t feel the love, he felt a racket. Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
The Bloated Cow and the Scorpion
Once there was a cow named Dennis. He died of a nasty infection and lay still for about a week in a field near
The Whale and the Frenchman’s Yacht
Once there was a blue whale named Bernard. One day while swimming naked through the ocean, he spotted the underbelly of a yacht. Twas a Frenchman’s yacht. Well Bernard stopped inhaling the bounteous buffet of microscopic ocean life forms and went to investigate. As he neared the vessel he could hear drunken singing and the sound of an out of tune lute. Bernard quietly surfaced 20 yards a starboard of the Frenchman’s Yacht. He observed a man on his boat, eating croissants and fiddling with an unopened box of whine, whilst a rather large woman of Indian descent danced a jig. The whole scene infuriated Bernard for reasons that Triton himself can not fathom, and spurred him into a violent rage. He lifted his tail high into the air and then smashed it downwards towards the keel as he heard the words, “Mon Diu!” shouted in fear. The boat was rent in two, and the crew left unconscious in the unforgiving sea. Bernard noticed moments later that a plank in the boat had pierced his tail. This wound eventually led his tail becoming gimpy, which hindered Bernard’s escape from a whaling boat he ran into a week later. Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
The Chicken and the Homeless “Goat”
Once there was a chicken aptly named, “Clucky.” She lived on a farm in central
The Cricket and the Hammer
Once there was a cricket named Louis. He prided himself on the fact that when all was quiet at night, and people were sleeping peacefully through the sound of other crickets, he could pipe up and make a cricketing chirping noise so loud, that entire neighborhoods would wake up and search their bushes for the obnoxiously loud perpetrator. One night he found an open window and he leapt in. He found himself in a garage with EXCELLENT acoustics. He figured he’d have enough reverberation to make the entire town think that this guy’s garage was making noise, and they hunt him down and kill him! Well about 4 seconds into his chirping declaration to the town, he realized that the owner of the garage was standing there with a large hammer. The man swung the hammer down and….missed Louis. Louis had jumped out of the way of the fatal blow just in the nick of time. Unfortunately though, Louis landed in an open container of gasoline. As his skin burned and his senses went wild with confusion, helplessness, and fear, his last clear thought was of wishing that he’d gone the way of the hammer. Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
The Snail and the Turtle
Once there was a snail named Kevin, who lived near a forest. He had always lived near the forest, because he was a snail, and snails don’t tend to live in too many different biomes. One day he met a turtle named Victor who was paaaaaaassssssssssiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnggggggggg byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Victor said, “hello there snail, how are you doing on this fine afternoon?” Kevin replied, “very well thank you, but I’m awfully bored. There’s so much of the world to see and I’m too slow to go anywhere amazing!” Victor looked at him for a minute…which stretched into an hour…and finally about a day later he said, “Hop on little buddy.” Kevin cliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimbed up to the top of Victor’s shell and off they went. Kevin said, “weeeeeeeeeeee!” Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
The Fisherman and the Other Fisherman
Once there was a fisherman, fishing for fish in fish river. 30 yards down stream there was this other fisherman, fishing for fish in fish river. One yelled to the other, “what are you using for bait on this hot summer’s day in June? The other yelled back, “Watch out for that angry territorial Moose!” While one fisherman was brutally attacked by a large moose, the other thought to himself, “thank goodness I bated my hooks with REAL squirrel meat.” He then hopped back into his canoe and traveled farther down fish river. Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
The Clown and the Swarm of Vegetarian Piranhas
Once there was a clown with no name, because clown names aren’t funny. He was trying to make his way to a local birthday party when he was faced with the chore of crossing the mighty
The Ground Hog and the Lawn Mower
One morning a groundhog woke up to the most curious sound. It seemed to come close to his burrow and then move away, and then come back again. He poked his head up to see what the sound could possibly be coming from and…Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
The Possum and the Tree
Once there was a Possum named Terrance. He just loved to climb trees and hang upside down all day long. One day he found himself roughly 5 feet above the ground in an elm tree at the far end of the forest. He awoke to the sound of children shouting in Spanish. He froze as he realized that he was surrounded by roughly a dozen of these young Latino children. One of the children was walking off balance and the others laughed at him. He wore blue jeans, a red button up shirt, and a white handkerchief around his eyes. Terrance realized too late that “Luis” was holding a bat. Before he could yell out, “I’m not full of Candy!” It was over: Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
The Old Lady and the Birds
Miss Loretta had lived a long life full of family, friends, and adventure. Now she reflected on those days as she sat and fed bread to the birds. She would walk by the baker’s store every Saturday evening and pick up a loaf of whatever hadn’t sold that day. On this particular Sunday morning she found herself walking to the park with a bag of jalapeño bread. She took her usual seat at the park bench, breathed in the morning air, and started tearing off small pieces of the loaf and throwing them a few feet in front of her. At first there was one bird…then two…then 5…then a whole flock of them. They devoured the bread in minutes and then turned to her with longing in their eyes. Miss Loretta reached into her purse, pulled out a tazer, and took out as many birds as she could before the battery ran out. Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
The Old Man and the Bucket of Popcorn
There once was an old man named Pete. He liked to sit out in the heat. He always brought his faaaavorite treat to eat in the heat. Was it meat? Noooooo. Juice of a beet? Noooooo. It was popcorn. Pete loved popcorn. And though the rhyme scheme has been thrown off, we shall continue with his story. Pete was walking down a path of stone one day when he reached into his popcorn tub and his hand hit the bottom. “I’m all out of popcorn,” said Pete. Just then the Sherriff appeared and took Pete into custody for violating his parole. Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
Scotsman and the Big Red Button
Once there was a Scotsman whose beard was as red as a freshly cut trout. His name was not important, for the villagers all called him simply, “Big Red.” He lived in the hills and appeared every Thursday to bring his sheep to market. Nobody really ate sheep any more, but they would buy them out of pity so as to keep “Big Red’s” spirits up. Because man must move forward in life, the town soon had a nuclear power plant with which to power their many electronic devices. Big Red was asked to come be the special guest on opening day. He would be the one to push the big red button and get the plant started off. On the way to the ceremony: Big Red was trampled by a herd of wild sheep who were trying to free their imprisoned brethren. Thus is life…Think about it. What is YOUR conclusion?
Monday, June 8, 2009
The Dentist...DUN DUN DUN!
Last week school got out:
Saturday I can't even recall
Sunday: Church and helped Kathy move in Salt Lake
Monday: Helped Whitney move in Salt Lake, worked late
Tuesday: Worked all day and got news that I have yet another job (that's 3 this summer)
Wed: Worked job A in the morning, and job B at night
Thursday: Worked job C in the morning and job A at night
Friday: Finally a day off...didn't feel the blogging though
Saturday: Saw Land of the Lost, laughed out loud many times. Cousins and family over for games that night. Rocked some scene it.
Sunday: First restful Sunday in a LOOONG time. Napped like a king
This brings us to Today: THE DENTIST!
Now many of us fear the dentist for different reasons. Of course the drilling sucks, but today my fear came from the fact that I have not been to a dentist since...I BELIEVE 2004. Possibly even 2003. So the x-rays were taken...and...and...and I'll tell you about that in a minute. First off an observation:
You know how in the fast pace of a conversation you sometimes blurt something out that you didn't really think through and you feel stupid? Well the dentist is a great time for great conversation. Sounds weird I know since he has his or her hand in your mouth the whole time. But I found that while they are doing their thing, they talk and talk, and you can sit there and make rough drafts and final drafts of your response which you spring on them when they take a break to get more cleaning stuff or a new tool.
I felt like the king of high speech as she would clean and talk talk talk, and then I would reply with this amazingly refined poetic answer. I know I know, it's amazing she didn't pass out and fall because of my dizzying intellect right?
So after all of this marvelous conversation, the Dentist walks in to "look at my x-rays."
I was sweating bullets and moving uncomfortably in the chair (which may or may not have resulted in a "rubbing leather" noise...oops)
I heard mouth terms being thrown around about 4th meta somethings and bi-something elses. I of course was expecting high single digits, maybe lower double digits for fillings. This coming from a guy who regularly eats a large bowl of captain crunch filled with butterfinger bars. I brush often but my flossing is LESS than marvelous. I try every week to swear off soda but then require a sugary mountain dew to get me through a long night teaching at the academy. (The discovery academy...sadly not the Jedi Academy, that would be wicked)
(And yes that's me in my picture...how did I ever get married)
So anyways, I have you in suspense now. You know it's been 5+ years since my last examintation, I consume foods that most dentists probably consider swear words, and I never find the time to thoroughly floss...
"Well no cavities but one of your fillings needs to be replaced...."
That's right...ONE! If I may quote the last message a student wrote on my board this year: Mr. Reeves is so Hella Fly....- OUT!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Schools out for SUMMER!
Now time for the Summer time blues...
Jump up and down in your blue suede shoes...
Hey kids rock and roll...Rock On...
School officially ended-ish this week. I'm still sitting at my desk...in an empty classroom...with desks piled high and a lot on my mind.
On my board I had students drawing pictures and writing sayings for the last day or so while they signed their yearbooks. In one corner it says, "Mr. Reeves is Hella Fly!" I erased most of the board but left that up, because it's nice to know that I'm hella fly.
As I walked through the office this morning I had two separate administrative people say that they had parents signing their kids up for next year and that I came heavily recommended. How Hella Fly did I feel? Very...the answer is very.
I learned a lot from my students this year. Though at times I complained about some of the terrible grammar, their attitudes, and their hygiene, I found that a good portion of my students were pretty good. It is so interesting to see the drive of some, and the lack thereof of others.
I had students who turned in all of the extra credit they could, and they earned around 107%
Meanwhile I had students who just refused to write 10 poems, and dropped from an A to a D+
The summer time is a time for rebirth in my opinion. Some would say it's the spring, but I think that summer time is really when a person is re-born. So this summer I have a load of things on my list to do. Read books, bond with family, and WRITE!
I want to write, I really want to write. A movie script? A Novel? A kids book? I don't know, but I feel like I have a lot of good ideas bouncing around this awkward skull of mine, and one of them has to be profitable right?
So this guy gets home from work one day, and he's just angry as all get out. He sees a snail by his doorstep and he chucks it as FAR as he possibly can. He feels better and goes inside...
Two years later a small tap at the door: As the man opens the door he sees the snail.
Man: Hey aren't you that snail I threw over there 2 years ago?
Snail: Yeah what's up with that!?
Hahahahahahahaha....my students didn't really dig that one.
Anywho, I love and appreciate that so many of you read my ramblings. This post would be most excellent if I could ask you to leave a comment with a subject of a book or movie you'd like to see me write. If I ever get famous off of it I'll give you some moneys- Out
Friday, May 22, 2009
A funny story...period
It dawned on me that I could tell a funny story as well, to make people have a better day. Problem is that most of the people involved IN the story, actually read my blog. So I'll use code names so as to protect the innocent...or not.
So I had graduated from High School in the summer of 2000. What a splendid time to be alive! Limp Bizkit's song from the Mission Impossible 2: Soundtrack was polluting the airwaves, along with "If I die before I wake at least in Heaven I can Skate" and "The boys in the hood." I decided to take my lady friends to dinner at the Olive Garden before we all parted ways to College, and Nanny-ships, and other such endeavors.
I picked them all up and we drove in my parent's ultra mega cool 15 passenger van to THE Olive Garden. One of the girls was feeling, shall we say, monthly sick? Or should I not use a question mark after sick and instead use a period. Not sure, anyways...we get there and I feel bad cause she is doubling over in pain. I find some kind of pain suppressant pill in the car's first aid kit, and it still isn't working.
So we sat down about to order and I asked her if there was ANYTHING I could POSSIBLY get for her to make her feel better.
She replied, "Not unless you can get me some Mydol"
Now I assumed that Mydol was kind of like a tums or a rolaids or something. And I knew for sure that I'd seen restaurants with those medicines sold right at the counter.
When the waiter asked if there was anything he could get for us, I piped up and mentioned that if he had some Mydol that would be great. He stood there...stunned...and finally was able to ask me, "ummm what do you need THAT for?"
At this point my friend who was in all of the pain started laughing and said, "Because he is cramping."
Suddenly everything became so crystal clear! A squared + B squared = C squared. Bruce Willis had been dead the entire time! And yes, if you grab a cigarette lighter, you get burned.
The girls erupted with laughter as the waiter stared at me and I felt like a complete moron. I was excited to have learned something new though: Mydol stops period cramps! So it wasn't that bad of an experience. Any time you can learn something new, it's a good thing right?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Angels and Demons...and Ducks...and Butter...and couches...and hammers....and mud....and dinosaurs...and Leppers...and......
Worst name for a villain ever. "Illuminati?" Ok maybe they should watch old spy movies to see what good organizations names are: Chaos, Spectre, Sith....the putties- the list goes on. (wait whats' s putty? Those were those weird henchmen from power rangers...don't pretend you don't know that. And please don't deny that you still know that song that the green ranger played on his flute sword to get the dragon up. DOO doo doo DOODOO DOO!)
Anyways. So there were angels, demons, and a lot of dead people. I'm not talking, "oh he was shot, he is dead." I'm saying there were eye balls on the floor, burning alive, corpses filled with dirt being eaten by rats etc etc.
As a whole I was more impressed with Da Vinci code. This felt more like a "National Treasure-ana Jones and the Saw IV of Catholic"
Ewan McGregor and Stallin Skarsgard really carry the film. Tom Hanks was ok, but I just didn't care about his character. Maybe it was that he wasn't the same Robert Langdon that we came to love from Da Vinci Code, or maybe it was the negative remarks he said about my church recently. Point is, it's an ok movie with a pretty decent ending. My advice though: Go see Wolverine or Star Trek instead. I think Wolverine for the 3rd time would have been more interesting than Angels and Demons the first time- OUT
Friday, May 15, 2009
Talkin bout this generation...
I asked a question to my students yesterday for their journal prompt at the beginning of class. "Would you pull the wings off of a beautiful butterfly for $100? How about $1000? How about a Cockroach? $100? $1000? " The students overwhelmingly went for the money. A select few said that they would not do the Butterfly for $100, but the $1000 was too much to say no to.
I upped the ante and asked them, "Ok what if I let you push a button that gave you $1 million dollars every time you pushed it, but by pushing the button it killed someone that you have never met before from anywhere on the planet?"
The answers were appalling, sick, and left me terrified.
"I'd push it at least ten times"
"There's overpopulation in China anyways"
"Odds are I'd get someone from Africa who is dying from Aids anyways"
These answers came from the same students who just LOVE their video games, and for some reason I can't figure out, also LOVE looking at muscly guys from UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship). These kids have very low respect for human life and are BIG fans of violence.
I hear of my students going to their own "UFC" fights in their backyards and basements. My brother was invited to go film one of these fight nights at a local college.
Seriously, what in the Hell has happened?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Or did I just answer my own question....
I'm only 9 years removed from high school, and I remember what it was like. Most kids were generally happy, smart, and had bright futures. This generation has some major issues and I can't figure out where it's all stemming from.
The best I can come up with is that many parents have just stopped trying. Buy the kid an I-pod, an X-box, and a car and they'll leave you alone.
We occasionally talk about movies in my classroom (big surprise huh) and it is sad to hear students say things like, "When my mom let me watch Saw when I was in 5th grade I was terrified" "Freddy Krueger gave me nightmares when I was in elementary school"
WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!?!!!!!
KIDS SHOULD NOT BE WATCHING THAT STUFF!
ADULTS SHOULD NOT BE WATCHING THAT STUFF!
But hey, hit play and you can leave the room while the idiot box ruins your kids.
I plead with any parents who are reading this blog, to go turn the t.v. off and take your kids on a walk. Play frisbee! Collect bugs! (just don't tear their wings off) Do art projects! Don't let your kids get caught up in the current onlsaught of media distorting this generations' sense of reality! If you want them to watch t.v., go buy the old muppet show on DVD! I have 3 seasons ammased already for when my son gets old enough to understand t.v.
-out