Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Loss of a great friend

As I sat eating lunch today laughing at a movie I was watching on my laptop, my mood suddenly crashed as I learned that a good friend of my family had passed away this morning. Jim Meeks was the best home teacher we ever had. He was my scout leader, my teacher's quorum adviser, my doctor, and my friend. I loved that guy. He was always quick with a joke (usually at my expense during exams). Jim is the one who stitched my left knee up after I cut it open. I remember walking up to him in church and saying, "so we have to sew it up right? Will that hurt?" To which Jim replied (in Jim fashion) "Well I won't feel a thing." hahaha. In fact last Sunday I was teaching in church and I had my class do an activity that he had shown me years ago and that had stood out in my mind. My prayers are with his family. God bless you Jim. Thank you for your life and example. I salute you and will always hold you in the HIGHEST regard- Justin Reeves

Monday, April 27, 2009


So I've found a way to push my wife's buttons. I do so in jest, because I love her so. Last night we were discussing the way our new house should look. I've given her free reign on decorating our first two places of dwelling since we got married in 2006, and now I feel as if it's my turn. She loves to decorate things with a theme. Usually this consists of matching colors, however I'm going to up the ante and propose a bedroom composed entirely of "DEER" related things.

1. The framed Deer art. I would have this hanging opposite from where my head is. I would keep a small scope next to the bed on our nice oak night stands and I would look through it at this picture. I would put the cross hairs on the "prey" and then make a "pew pew" noise. I think this would strengthen our relationship.

2. Very western "cabin looking" bed spread and sheets. These are to be covered with animals of all shapes and sizes. Mostly deer of course, however nothing says, "red neck bed" like a few bears roaming your blanket. Moose and elk may roam as well, but in the end, it's the Deer that makes the bedspread "tie the room together." (oh and I may need to get wood paneled walls as well...not sure if she'll go for that).

3. "I use antlers in all of my deeeeecorating, oh what a guy that Just-on!" We need matching lamps on our matching oak night stands. I'm thinking, "let's stick with the deer theme again and make this work." Now in this case some are tempted to go with the Moose or Caribou antlers because they are nicer, but if you do that, it throws the whole "deer theme" into a tailspin and your room is now just a "game" room. Keep with the deer antlers, they're cheaper, and if someone ever breaks into your house, you can use them as a weapon (I saw it on Braveheart).

4. The mount....
And what "deer room" is complete without an actual deer head hanging over your bed? I of course would hang it at the HEAD of the bed (hahaha) and every night, just to mess with my wife I'd say, "Good night dear I love you." And she'd say, "goodnight sweetie." Then I'd say, "Oh you misunderstood, I was saying goodnight DEER...now goodnight sweet wife." I'd probably hear her swear under her breath before turning off our deer lamp, getting in our deer blankets and hearing me pull out my night vision scope and say, "pew pew."

Does anybody see this not working? Cause I think my wife is going to dig our deer bedroom. I should totally try out for that Extreme Makeover show. "MOVE THAT BUS!" The family stands there aghast at what appears to be an animal graveyard hung on every wall of the house. HAHAHAHA

"And timmy, I know you like basketball, so we decorated your room entirely in Milwaukee Bucks decor! Look we have a deer head here, an autographed deer antler, and a deer bed and a...."- Out

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Torture...I have some alternate ideas

So everyone is arguing back and forth about torture and harsh interrogation and terrorism and etc etc etc. Water boarding, sleep deprivation, and I heard we dropped a caterpillar into a box with a guy who was afraid of bugs. I immediately replayed "Hook" in my head.

Hook: You made a boo boo didn't you
Pirate: I did
Hook: The boo box
Pirate: NOOOOOO!
Hook: Yes....
(lock pirate into box and drop scorpions and tarantulas on him hahaha)

Here are some alternate "tortures" that would make ANYONE cough up information.

1- DVD BOUNCING ICON- If you didn't see the episode of the office, there are some dvd players that when left idle will switch to a black screen with a bouncing icon that bounces "pong style" from side to side etc. If you watch it for a while it gets closer and closer and finally HITS THE CORNER! It is amazing. You should watch my students stare at that thing, they sit there quietly for hours. Anyways, I think we should put a big screen with this on it in the cell of the terrorist, only program it to NEVER HIT THE CORNER. It'll drive them nuts. "Ok Ok American Pig Dogs! I will tell you where the bomb is (sob sob)..."

2- TELE-THON - This is simple: Teletubbies 24 hours a day for a month. They'll crack like an egg on the concrete.
Interegator: Where is the secret base!
Ahmed: 45 miles north of Kabul I swear!
Interegator: Again again!

3- STOP RIGHT BEFORE THE END- Get a bunch of good movies, and always stop them right in the high point of the ending.

Rocky throws his fist forward and _________
Use the force Luke! He shoots and_________
Rudy sits on the bench during the big game and _________
The shark swims towards chief Brody with air tank in mouth and______

4- McDONALDS DIET - No explanation needed. McMuffin them to death

5- BARBIE GIRL- Aqua's greatest hit on repeat....for life. Until the terrorist declares himself to be a barbie girl.

6- WIPE WIT WHAT? - Only stock their bathroom with exrremely depleted rolls of t.p.

7- ACCEPT THIS ROSE - Make them watch season after season of the Batchelor.
Ineregator: Are you ready to talk?
Terrorist: Why did he dump Melissa! That pig dog! I KEEL YOU! AAARRRGH

8- CHEERIOS- Give them a box of Honey Nut Cheerios, but replace the bag inside with actual regular cheerios hahahahahahahahahaha.

That's all I can think of right now because I need to go to a Sumo Wrestling activity with local youth. Feel free to comment with any nifty tortures you can think of.

P.S. #9- If we do catch Bin Laden I believe we should put him in a medically induced Coma. When he wakes up in 6 months his sex change is completed. See how he treats women then. He would stone himself on national t.v. and we could all laugh at the stupid son of a- OUT

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Life's transitions

Well I'm moving from the "married with a wife and kid and a job" to "married with a wife, a kid, a job, a house, and another job." I got hired on today to teach night school on Monday and Wednesdays. I'll also be attending graduate school on alternating nights in the fall. My wife just put in her notice that she won't be working next year, which is awesome because she gets to take care of our son. It's a funny feeling to think that you are done with school, you have a job, and now things are going to coast for a while now... but that didn't last long. We all have stressful times in our lives and we have to find something to alleviate that stress. Here's mine:

1- Books- If you get the right book or book series whether it be a fun series (Star Wars: Fate of the Jedi) or a serious book full of information (Liberty and Tyranny) or a classic (Moby Dick), it's a good way to escape the stresses of life.

2- Weekend movies- Especially in the summer time, there is nothing better than an opening night dinner and a movie. Expensive? Yes, but worth the memories.

Ya know what...in the end sometimes we just gotta bite the bullet and dive head in. All the movies in the world aren't going to alleviate my schedule, but it takes enough edge off that I won't go insane. Lovin Life, thanks for reading...really...I appreciate comments, suggestions, and bad puns- Out

P.S. if you are looking for an interesting listen? Try the new Depeche Mode album: Sounds of the Universe. Pretty cool stuff. Can't wait to see them in the fall!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Tragedy ten years ago

The older generations remember where they were when Kennedy was shot. The current generation remembers where they were on September 11th. While I do remember the latter, I can specifically remember a great number of details from 10 years ago today: (just pretend I posted this yesterday will ya?)

April 20th 1999,

Another day as a jr. in high school. After school I went to work for a few hours at my dad's construction supply store. I was excited for that evening because I had tickets for myself and a good group of my friends to go see "1963: A Beatles Tribute." I was eagerly anticipating the release of Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace, and I was also looking forward to taking my friend Kelsey to Prom. I can remember being in the warehouse of my Dad's store listening to the radio when KSL started talking about a massive school shooting in Colorado.

The next morning my family and I got up early and got in the van to drive to California to visit family. I remember listening to the news as more details were unfurled on the radio. When we got to California it was all over the news. CNN was covering it like crazy and my heart just broke as we learned the who, what, where, when, and most importantly: the why.

Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris (names I don't have to google, I'll always remember those idiot's names) had been bullied, and teased, and rejected by many of their peers. According to them it was mostly the jocks. They got pushed to the limit and snapped.

I watched a documentary on them last night on the history channel and I went to bed shaken once again. The home movies that these guys made were insane and so full of hatred that it still terifies me to this day. They recreated scenes from the school security cameras with a timer at the bottom of the screen. When they got to the library they became soulless killers. They murdered innocent students, some of which they didn't even know. I remember feeling particularly bad for one student who was described on the news as, "A big Star Wars fan." He missed the long awaited new movie by about 3 weeks...

13 victims and a double suicide later, the massacre was over. I wept...I was sick. I know what it was like to be picked on in school. Throughout Jr. High and High School I had so many pricks taking pot shots at my self esteem that it was almost laughable. I of course would never lash out violently, but the anger that built up inside me was palpable. I graduated, served a church mission, went to and graduated college, and I have a good job, a wife, a kid, and a house now. I turned out ok despite the hatred that I felt from "the bullies." I was lucky.

I teach at my old high school now, and it terrifies me to see that we haven't learned from our mistakes. I still see kids (and I intervene like a champ) picking on the "weaker" students. They bully and laugh and walk away not thinking twice about it. Meanwhile the heartbroken and shattered victim looks down and is broken.

Because this April 20th I am a parent, I looked at this situation in a completely different light. What do I want my kid to be like? One of the students caught in the library during the shooting was interviewed on the documentary last night. He was hiding in the library while the gunmen shot at random, killing anyone hiding under a desk. This one student was hiding behind a book shelf and the shooters asked him to identify himself. He did so, and after asking if they were going to kill him, the shooters said, "get out of here." This student had been kind to them and respected them at school. The shooters took a break from their massacre to show some kind of humanity and let their "friend" go. My hope is that my son will grow up to be the guy who respects everyone at school. Jocks vs emo vs skater vs cowboys vs whatever is just stupid. I would rather my son be bullied relentlessly than be the bully himself.

An article from "the Onion" (a satirical newspaper online) had a joke article which had a picture of some tough looking kids standing by the school marquee which said, "welcome back Columbine students." The headline jokingly read: Columbine jocks safely resume bullying. And though this was meant as a joke...it's sadly probaby true.

When tragedys like this happen I try to think of what it must have been like to be in the school, in the library, on the police force, etc. I'll tell ya, the one person I don't want to be in the mind of is the Jock who teased and picked on these guys relentlessly, pushing them to the breaking point, and then made it out of the school in the first wave of evacuees. How does he feel? Can't we all just get along? Can we treat each other with respect and not prey on the weak?

I'm sorry this post is so long, if you finished it then congratulations. If the whole Columbine situation taught me one thing it was that people are capable of the absolute worst things possible. May we strive to learn from the past, be nice, be respectful, and if you see somebody struggling? Well then for crying out loud can we please lift them up instead of beat them down further?- Out

Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Geek Trifecta...the planets aligned

Does it get any better than today? My wife is working on some school projects on her lap top. I flip through the channels and the 3 gods of geekdom were there. On TBS they were showing the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, meanwhile Spike T.V. was airing the Holy Trilogy: Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. Finally, on ESPN: NBA Playoffs. Now granted we are missing one member of the perfect Geek trifecta: X-men, but Wolverine previews abound during the commercial breaks. My dream line up was ended abruptly when I tried to hint to my wife that the costume that leia was wearing would be a keen addition to her wardrobe...and with that the channel was changed.

I own these all on DVD and can watch them when I please, but with the "previous" button on my remote, I feel powerful. Tree beard scene? Well then I'll switch over to watch the Death Star explode. Romantic scene with Han and Leia? Well then I'll flip back to watch the Witch King of Agnor get face stabby from that one girl who played the wife on War of the Worlds.

Speaking of wives, I am married to a most wonderful girl. She's not a fan of these trilogies, but she allowed me to name our son after my favorite rocker, so it's cool. Is anyone else as excited for the Wolverine movie as I? If not, watch the preview, ponder it, and go buy your tickets. SNIKT!- Out

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Nintendo Hates Me! It's a metaphor for life...

I know I already posted a blog this morning, but I'm so steaming mad right now that I just have to expel my hatred onto the internet so as to calm my inner demons. NINTENDO HATES ME! No matter what you do, it cheats and beats you. I swear there's some Japanese fellow sitting in Japan right now watching video that the Wii made of me getting frustrated (they have hidden cameras...shhhhh) while trying to play Wii golf and baseball.

You remember the good old days of the regular Nintendo 8 bit system right? It was kind to you. If you ran the ball with Bo Jackson, there was nothing that Tecmo Bowl could do, except watch you zig zag your way to the end zone EVERY TIME. Man had the upper hand on machine. (though Adventure Island and Ghosts & Goblins were mighty and near unconquerable)

But do you recall, that with the heralding of the new system: THE SUPER NINTENDO, that the computer started to become human? For example: The original Mario Kart: Spawn of Satan. You drive, you pick up an item, you use said item, and then you pick up another item and so forth right? Well not if you are on hard mode and the computer is losing. Suddenly Luigi would go STAR...STAR.....STAR.....STAAAAAAAR and he would zip by and beat you. The game would laugh, you would say some choice words, and try again.

Do you ever feel like life is using STAR STAR STAR while you sit there getting the useless feather, coins, and a speedy mushroom when it's too late? I know you feel me. Do you ever wish you could just get the Metal Man gun from Mega Man 2 and totally annihilate Luigi and Yoshi when they make you mad?

So tonight I'm playin wii sports, and no matter what I can't hit a ball in baseball. Every pitch I throw gets knocked out of the park. I actually hit a hole in one in wii golf, my first and only one, and then bogied on two holes that I NEVER bogie on. Why? BECAUSE THE NINTENDO MADE THE COURSE WINDY TO BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS! I swear I saw a house from kansas fly by on the 7th fairway.

But you know what? I bought a house today. And I'm going to let my Wii live there free of rent. So maybe it'll think twice before it tries to STAR STAR STAR me again.

What were your favorite games on the old systems? How did you OWN them?- My anger has subsided- Out

My very first BLEAM!

Last night I had...a bleam. What is a bleam? Well I can tell by the little red underline from spell checker that a "bleam" isn't officially anything. So I'm copyrighting it. If you have a bleam, you owe me royalties. A bleam is a "blog dream." Blog + Dream = Bleam, get it? So I think we dream about the things that run through our minds on any given day. I had just set up this new blog (which won't be updated DAILY necessarily, however I awoke with this bleam and had to), and I had the most peculiar dream. I'm new at this blogging so I don't know how often this occurs to you, the experienced blogger, however it was awesome. I dreamed that I was supposed to blog about how older ladies are pathetic because they read blogs all day in an attempt to stay hip. I was then instructed by an elderly lady that I was bleaming, and that I needed to coin this phrase. So there, it has been coined. I know you have all bleamed, and now I have granted you a name by which to call your bleam. Bleam on, bleam big, - blout... I mean -out

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Here I am...Rock you like a hurricane?

Well here begins my blog. It was originally going to be called, "the railings of an allowed fool"(from twelfth night) however "railings" seem to have a negative connotation. The Ruse of Fools (or "tricks" of fools) seems more appropriate. It still has the word fools, and it comes from a favorite song of mine. I don't want to rail on here, though I'll occasionally vent frustrations in a hopefully comical way. What is a fool? Well some would define it as someone who does foolish things. In Shakespeare's world it was merely someone who entertained. Quite often the fool is the most intelligent character in a play. Is this arrogant? Slightly, but my wisdom can be boiled down to life experiences and my point of view. What is my point of view? Well consider me to be Waldorf and Statler (the old men in the balcony on the muppet show) or any one of the mystery science theater 3000 characters (google it if you haven't seen it). I like to observe, poke fun at, and then occasionally throw cabbage at things I find funny or silly or whatever. For my first "railing" I must burn on radio commercials:

I am so sick of turning on the radio and hearing a commercial which consists of a classic song- rewritten in order to sell cars or plastic surgery or something. Whether it be Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" turned into "I showed up to a car lot full of sales" or 99 red balloons altered into "99 great sales made, 99 ways to get paid...so come on down and join apex alarm systems today!" I mean I bet there is a lot of money in said business right? What does that ad for that look like? "Looking for motivated "musicians" to re-word and re-record famous songs into jingles for used car lots and other worthless garbage to be used on the radio.

Let's try one shall we? Let's take a classic song like Stairway to Heaven, Imagine, or Hit me baby....wait...no Spears. Ah, we'll butcher John Denver instead.

Almost heaven, South Towne Auto Mall
Blue Dodge Chargers, Well priced trucks and dodge rams
Prices are great there, The service, it will please
Our backdrop is the mountains, We sell nice used SUV's

I-15, take me home
To a place, where lines aint loooong
West Jordan Utah, mountain momma
Take me home, I-15 (exit 204)

I figure at the end of these posts I'll seal it with an "out." Questions? Comments? Wishes for the future? I'm wrapping it up- Out