Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Universal Studios Rides I'd like to See

Just watched a commercial for Universal Studios which touted a Jurassic Park Ride, a Shrek Ride, a Harry Potter Ride, and other such rides. It made me think about how much fun it would be to design rides for a park like that. Then I thought about how much fun it'd be to design really crappy rides based on movies that wouldn't make great rides. Here's what I came up with. I'd love to hear from you as well if you have any great ideas.

The Air Force One Experience-
Experience the classic Harrison Ford presidential action flick from two perspectives. First you'll be a passenger. Ride attendants will tie you up and gag you and leave you in a seat that simulates steady airplane flight for an hour...then you switch roles to that of a terrorist. You will be led to the back of the ride where an animatronic Harrison Ford will tell you to, "Get off my plane" before it kicks you in the rear and drops you 40 feet into a pool of cold water. What an experience!

The Shawshank Redemption Water Slide...Sorta
Feel the excitement of an escape from a creepy prison in the 1950's by crawling on your belly through a replica sewage pipe. We pump realistic...well...real sewage through the ride so just like Andy you'll be able to enjoy freedom that much more!

6th Sense the ride-
The first time you hop on this ride it is absolutely AWESOME! However, it's only fun to ride once cause after that it's kind of predictable and not very entertaining.

The Traveling Pants Experi-ance
You and 19 other tourists will be thrown into a room and forced to exchange pants with someone else. You will also exchange information and become best friends from afar.

Lindsay Lohantastica!
We throw beer goggles on you, make you walk through a jewelery store where you have to sneak a necklace or ring, and then we strap an ankle monitor on you and follow you around the Universal lot for the rest of the day.

Michael Moore Buffet!
When you get hungry between rides (though we don't recommend eating before the Shawshank ride) come to our Michael Moore inspired Buffet. Tons upon tons of buttery foods ready for you to devour. You don't even have to leave your seat! Because of an issue with the foundation (it leans waaaay to the left) the food slides down the floor and right into your mouth!

The Fast and the Furious!
After signing waver after waver, you can take your car to the empty lot in the back of the park and drive as fast and as crazy as you'd like. Make sure to brush up on your Vin Diesel grizzled laugh,
 "eh heh heh" for when you pull an awesome stunt.

 3D Nicholas Cage Show

WHoaaaaahh! NOT THE BEEEEEES! AAAAAARRRRRGHH! The show is 2 hours long and compiles all of Nick Cage's best scenes...also not a good idea to do this after eating at the Buffet...

These are just a few that I came up with on the fly. What do you got to add to that?

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Sunday, April 15, 2012

My name is Justin!

Gonna try for a new blog format here since up til now it's been super random. Every Sunday night I will strive to blog. I'll try to alternate between: Music, Movies, Comics, And the general goings on.

To introduce this week's blog I'll mention a quick, "going's on." My sweet grandmother left us last week and we decided to road trip to California for the funeral and to see family. In order to get there, one needs a mix cd. I loaded up an old favorite and listened to it multiple times across the desert. I give to you: Weezer's Blue album from 1994...a timeless classic that still rocks today.

1. My Name is Jonas: You  may recall that I included this song in my list of all time great song openings a while back on my blog. This album had made it big on the radio with "Undone the Sweater Song" and "Buddy Holly."   I don't recall ever hearing this song until I actually picked up the album...and it blew me away. The classic 4 chord song done so well. Great thing about Weezer is that they aren't some overly serious artsy band, but the singer definitely believes in what he's doing and you can hear it in his voice in this song. "Driver says hey man we go all the way!"  One of the greatest album openings ever.

2. No one else:  I want a girl who will laugh for no one else...This is a fairly simple song but Weezer refused to let it stay simply by really working on the sound of the song. Sound confusing? Let me try it again. The drumming and the tone of the guitars could have been a lot less in your face, but they really pushed it on the production. This turns a regular pop/rock song that could have easily been written by Jr. High students into something worth listening to.

3. The World Has Turned and Left Me Here:  After two songs which, great as they are, have a similar sounding rhythm, we start of the third track with an acoustic guitar intro. This gave  the song more clout and depth. Of course nobody can top the 90's intro to Today by the Smashing Pumpkins (I'll cover the Siamese Dream album another time...gonna have a lot to say about that one) and they don't really try to, they just made the song work. The song has a bit of a sadder tone. The lyrics, "The World has turned and left me here" seem very 90's sad...luckily the next track picks us back up and makes us dance.

4. Buddy Holly: If at some point in your life you owned a copy of Windows 95 then you actually owned this video. It was included with windows 95 as a means to show off the video capabilities. Ah the video to this song was CLASSIC! Using special effects, Weezer was transported onto the set of Happy Days where they rocked out for Richie, Potsy, and the Fonze. This song alone solidified Weezer as one of the coolest bands to ever pick up a guitar. High point is at 2:09 when the guitar solo (I think like 9 notes) crescendos and it's all good.

5. Undone the Sweater Song: Da danna da danna da dun dun da danna...the opening notes of this song are almost living. I sweat this song has a pulse. I love the people talking through the intro. "My friends don't really wanna go...can I get a ride?" I'd always heard that the girls at the beginning of this song were from Utah and were killed in a car accident. While writing this blog post I researched it and:
"the memorial service was held at 2:00 pm, July 14th, at the Orem Park 10th ward meeting house of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints, in Orem, Utah. I had the pleasure of attending the memorial and graveside services. Mykel, Carli, and Trysta's father [Wayne] gave an introduction, and eulogies were offered for Mykel, Carli, and Trysta by Claudia (their mother), Kenyan (their brother), and Tyler (their brother), respectively. After the memorial service concluded, we proceeded to Springville, Utah. Several members of the band were among a group of approximately 20 pallbearers. After the graves were dedicated by the girls' paternal grandfather, the crowd mingled, and people gave their love to the girls' family. At the end of the service, before people left, Karl placed 2 special weezer hats, one on Mykel's grave, one on Carli's grave." -Tim

Interesting link to Utah. I guess they are buried in Springville, Utah which is fairly close to where I'm at. I always thought this was a rumor but I guess it's true.

6. Surfwax America:  This song was always a little too bubbly for me because of where it falls in the album. Between the somewhat somber Sweater Song and the dark classic, "Say it Aint So" is not the best place for a fun surfing song in my opinion. I could be wrong...but not likely since I'm amazing. Not a terrible song but probably my least favorite on the album. Felt too much like a filler song.

7. Say it aint So: This song solidified Weezer as a band with more than one trick up their sleeve. This song is one of the most covered songs of all time I swear. I used to have a killer cover of Deftones doing this one. Always thought it was cool that Deftones' singer started the track off by bragging to the crowd that "he just got to go see weeeeezer." Even hard thrasher folk dig the Weezer. Such a somber somber song. The bass line walking around in the background make this song what it is...amazing. Powerful singing doesn't hurt either. The chorus' guitar is crazy cool as well. DUN DUN  WEEERREEERR. The Weeerrreeeer is insanely cool. The part with the letter read aloud could be the most memorable part of the album.

8. In the Garage:  I've got the Dungeon Master's Guide...I've got 12 sided die....I've got Kitty Pryde, and Nightcrawler too..."  This song covers the same topic as one of their most recent hits: Pork and Beans. The song is about not caring what people think about you. When you are in your garage, nobody can make fun of you. I had a lot of kids who made fun of my for collecting comic books back in the day...and this song starts off with Kitty Pryde and Nightcrawler so it was kind of a justification for me since EVERYONE loved this they had to kind of agree with Weezer just a little bit mwuahahaha. 

9: Holiday: I remember this song being stuck in my head during a Jr. Jazz game once. Heaaaaart Beeeaaaaat... over and over again. Is it the mark of a great song or a lame song when it gets stuck in your head? Not sure. I sure did like the optimism on this one though. 

10. Only in Dreams: Just like "Say it aint So," This song largely thrives on the bass walking softly in the background to set the mood. At almost 8 minutes long, Weezer was ending the album with a song that said, "Yeah we sound kind of poppy...but there's a lot more to us than Buddy Holly and Sweaters." This Bass line could be titled "Day at Jr. High School" because one could feel beat down after a day of ridicule and awkward teenagerness...I made that word up and it works so let it go.

All in all, this album should be owned by anyone who professes a love of rock music. It's fun, it's quality, and it hints at things to come. Weezer is often thought of happy happy happy but at least 4 of these songs seemed a bit more somber and reflective than not. $7.99 on I-tunes is a small price to ask for ten quality songs that helped define a generation. If you lived through the 90's then you probably owned this cd...if you didn't own it...go buy it now and see what you think. Dig it- JR