Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Ten Things I've Learned from Teaching High School Thus Far


10. This generation doesn't know how to spell very well. Didn't = Dident and the other day Karl Malone = Karul Maloon.

9. This generation has a hard time communicating. Take away the texts, the IM's the Facebook and the Myspace and these kids would be helpless. If you want to control the population in the future just cut the power off. Nobody would talk, hence nobody would breed.

8. These kids have seen some messed up stuff. In reply to some of my journal prompts I find out that these kids have occasionally seen car accident and murder victims up close and personal.

7. This generation has a foul mouth. You'd blush if you heard half of the stuff I've heard in class. Someone needs to get some soap out and wash them good right in the mouth.

6. This generation has only read two book series: Harry Potter/Twilight. After that there is NO reading whatsoever unless I force them to read it in class. So their knowledge of literature is either kids at wizard school or sparkly glowy vampires. If you asked them what Moby Dick was they'd just start snickering at the title.

5. They can't live without I-pods. Seriously they run the headphone cord up through their shirt and have them dangling there by their chin. If they didn't have the tunes to throw on every time there is a lull, they would die of stress since they no longer have any idea how to hold real conversations (see number 9).

4. This generation lacks some pretty basic knowledge. Two days ago I had a 16 year old student ask me what state "Chicago" was in. I nearly collapsed from the shock. "Who's the Vice President?" ....silence... How about, "Can you drive to Alaska?" "No Mr. Reeves, it's an Island silly!" (Weeping in corner in fetal position) Is it possible that in order to register to vote you should need to be able to pass an IQ exam? Not genius level or anything, just a basic high school level equivelancy test. I don't want you voting if you think the first president was Lincoln or if you think that Hawaii isn't a state.

3. These kids are big fans of violence. My sophomores worship UFC fighting and they recreate these fights in their back yards on weekends. They thrive on Death Metal and have seen more R rated films than I have, and I'm 27. Seriously, when a kid starts saying he liked Saw IV better than Saw III and debates another student on the topic...we have issues.

2. I blame the lack of parenting. Parents please...PLEAAAAASE Don't SUCK! Do not buy your kid an X-box and give them games to play to keep em quiet. INTERACT WITH THEM! PLAY EDUCATIONAL GAMES WITH THEM! Why do my students text all the time? Parents bought them a phone. Why are they on their I-pods all day? Parents bought them an I-pod. They buy them cars, video games, whatever the kids want. My journal prompt tomorrow is going to be, "What do you deserve?" I'll leave it at that and see what they come up with. Given that a good portion of our nation thinks they deserve money from the government because...ummm I can't or won't work. I think they'll come up with some interesting answers. If your kid is a low level in school, is obsessed with violence because you bought them "300" or "Saw IV" For Christmas, thinks the world shold be given to them, then FIX IT! GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND FIX IT! The future is in their hands...and their hands are holding a video game controller.

1. Despite the negatives I've ranted about, there are some AWESOME kids coming out of my classes. I have a kid today who can draw Anime freehand like a pro. I have comissioned a portrait from him. I have students who listen attentively, they get the instructions right the first time cause they don't have headphones on their ears or their hands in their pockets trying to text sneakily so that I won't see. They work part time jobs after school and they keep their grades up so they can accell at life. They try very very hard to earn their A's while other students sit by and are happy with a C-, a D, and sometimes even an F. It saddens me that as soon as they enter the work force, my A students with their well deserved paychecks are going to be taxed more so that there can be benefits for my D students who couldn't get a decent job with a resume that says, "i beat Halo 3 on hard mode and i can play drums on Rockband" (notice the i's aren't capitalized...texting ruined that in this generation too)

The future is what we make it...John and Sarah Connor taught me that. "There is no fate but what we make" So let's get rid of the metaphorical Myles Dysons that are ruining our future and raise our kids in a world with no skynet. I'll be back... DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN.....DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN ......DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN

1 comment:

  1. PLEASE tell me that it really isn't all of the kids. PLEASE tell me that is really just the annoyingly loud and obnoxious kids, otherwise Boston will learn all about homeschooling.

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