Torture...I have some alternate ideas

So everyone is arguing back and forth about torture and harsh interrogation and terrorism and etc etc etc. Water boarding, sleep deprivation, and I heard we dropped a caterpillar into a box with a guy who was afraid of bugs. I immediately replayed "Hook" in my head.

Hook: You made a boo boo didn't you
Pirate: I did
Hook: The boo box
Pirate: NOOOOOO!
Hook: Yes....
(lock pirate into box and drop scorpions and tarantulas on him hahaha)

Here are some alternate "tortures" that would make ANYONE cough up information.

1- DVD BOUNCING ICON- If you didn't see the episode of the office, there are some dvd players that when left idle will switch to a black screen with a bouncing icon that bounces "pong style" from side to side etc. If you watch it for a while it gets closer and closer and finally HITS THE CORNER! It is amazing. You should watch my students stare at that thing, they sit there quietly for hours. Anyways, I think we should put a big screen with this on it in the cell of the terrorist, only program it to NEVER HIT THE CORNER. It'll drive them nuts. "Ok Ok American Pig Dogs! I will tell you where the bomb is (sob sob)..."

2- TELE-THON - This is simple: Teletubbies 24 hours a day for a month. They'll crack like an egg on the concrete.
Interegator: Where is the secret base!
Ahmed: 45 miles north of Kabul I swear!
Interegator: Again again!
Ahmed: 45 MILES NORTH OF KABUL!!! UH OH POE! AAAARGH!!!

3- STOP RIGHT BEFORE THE END- Get a bunch of good movies, and always stop them right in the high point of the ending.

Rocky throws his fist forward and _________
Use the force Luke! He shoots and_________
Rudy sits on the bench during the big game and _________
The shark swims towards chief Brody with air tank in mouth and______

4- McDONALDS DIET - No explanation needed. McMuffin them to death

5- BARBIE GIRL- Aqua's greatest hit on repeat....for life. Until the terrorist declares himself to be a barbie girl.

6- WIPE WIT WHAT? - Only stock their bathroom with exrremely depleted rolls of t.p.

7- ACCEPT THIS ROSE - Make them watch season after season of the Batchelor.
Ineregator: Are you ready to talk?
Terrorist: Why did he dump Melissa! That pig dog! I KEEL YOU! AAARRRGH

8- CHEERIOS- Give them a box of Honey Nut Cheerios, but replace the bag inside with actual regular cheerios hahahahahahahahahaha.

That's all I can think of right now because I need to go to a Sumo Wrestling activity with local youth. Feel free to comment with any nifty tortures you can think of.

P.S. #9- If we do catch Bin Laden I believe we should put him in a medically induced Coma. When he wakes up in 6 months his sex change is completed. See how he treats women then. He would stone himself on national t.v. and we could all laugh at the stupid son of a- OUT