Resistance is not futile...I-resist the machines

"Are you Sara Connor?"

"Yes..."

"BANG!"

Terminator 1 reference? CHECK!

I-have been questioned by co-workers and friends lately as to why I-am hesitating...no...refusing to go into the I-phone or I-pad craze. I-think that it's time to explainmyself.

I-currently have a great little t-mobile phone that has lasted me almost 3 whole years. It carries my music, some photos, videos, and it was FREE FREE FREE! I-don't play games on it because when I-received my phone I-found that all of the games were only demos. It costs money to download the full versions so I-decided not to waste the money or the time.

I-get enough minutes per month and unlimitted texts and I-find that to be just fine. It covers all of my wants and needs.

Now I-hear all about these I-phones and I-pads that people suddenly "need." I-guess that I-am insane because I-don't feel like I-need these things to function.

Aps? I-have lived 29 years wihtout aps and I-am fine. I-got a GPS for my car so I-can find my way around, and that's great right? Shouldn't that be enough?

"But with an I-pad you can do THIS!" "If you had an I-phone you could THAT!"

I-see how marvelous the angry birds are and I-think to myself, "If I-had that game I-would play that game all day long." I-realize that some aps make life so much easier and yet I-have decided not to use them as tools. Why?

Sitting on the couch watching tv and you have to go to the bathroom but you don't want to get up to use the toilet? There's an APP for that.

Get caught stealing watermellons from a blind lady's house? There's an APP for that.

I-see people walking around Walmart having conversations with their blut-tooth things. They look and sound like nut jobs.

"What? Yeah I know...TOTALLY! Yeah I-will be there at 5...yeah I-am at Walmart...buying Fruity Pebbles." The next time I-see someone doing this I-am going to start talking to myself too...only without the blue tooth.

"Yeah I'm not sure why but it's TOTALLY chaffing me! Yeah I know I thought I'd washed out the ear-mites but they are driving me crazy...no I don't remember your Grandmother popping out of a birthday cake in her birthday suit, I blocked that from my memory."

As far as I-pads go, I-feel like I-am walking around the Star Ship Dork-a-prise on Star Trek. Nerds walking around with little computer screens. I-know I-know, "but Justin, you are a huge Star Wars/Sci-fi geek, why not embrace this?" I-will tell you why. I-bust my butt and work two jobs, the second or "extra" of which is incredibly stressfull. I-feel that my money is better spent on food and other essentials than on a phone that does everything for me with a data plan that costs $30 extra bucks a month.

I-love blu-ray, I-love HD, but this whole push button society is going too far.

So no, I-don't care how fun Angry Birds is.

No I don't want to do video calling, (I make many calls from my toilet, you don't want to see it, trust me. That being said, please don't assume that if you are on the phone with me that I'm on the pot).

You realize what the phone company is doing to you right? The same thing as the tobacco companies.

They got you hooked, and now you can't live without it, so the price goes up a bit, the apps get pricier, and the I-tunes songs go from 99 cents to 1.29...

I-am just not going to start smoking in the first place, and if the phone company says that I-need a data plan in order to have a cell phone? Then I-am getting a freaking land line- JR