Wednesday, March 30, 2011

World Peace...it's as simple as pushing "play"


People killing people...

Invasions...

Dictators...

Folks strapping bombs to their kids...


There's got to be a better way...and there is.


The sollution to the problem is simple: Operation Wyld Stallynz.


Remember what the future looks like? It's a bunch of futuristic dudes strumming guitars with Bill and Ted's band "The Wyld Stallynz" playing in the background. Rufus was there, and it was good.


"You see, eventually your music will help put an end to war and poverty. It will align the planets and bring them into universal harmony, allowing meaningful contact with all forms of life; from extra terrestrials to common household pets, and it's excellent for dancing."- Rufus


Now sadly we don't actually have a band called, "Wild Stallynz." However, I do believe that we can implement the same idea and save the world.


Step one: Lots and lots of speaker systems. This music needs to be broadcast all over the world. Maybe we'll employ a few hundred thousand blimps, fit them with massive speakers, and just strategically place them over cities and such.


Step two: Ultimate Mix Cd's. I see there being 3 different groups that would play at all times: Enya, Simon and Garfunkel, and Bob Marley.


Step three: Watch the terrorists come out of their caves with regretful looks on their faces. Watch the gangs stop fighting and start hugging. Watch Tupac and Biggy rise from their graves and collaborate.


You think Momar Quadaffi (sp?) would be shootin at rebels or the rebels shooting at Quadaffi if they had Bob Marley's "One Love" blasting down from the skys? I tells you they'd be HUGGIN!


Guy steals a lady's purse...stops in mid stride as the climax of "Bridge over Troubled Water" gets belted out by Simon and Garfunkel (whom will be referred to from here on out as "S-drizzle and G-funk"), turns around with tears in his eyes and takes the purse and the woman out to lunch at a moderately priced buffet...and tips at 23%


Man lifts his hand to strike his wife and instead decides to leave the house to cool off. He jumps on a boat and "sails away sails away sails away..." to Enya.


The holy trinity of Marley, S-Drizzle and G-Funk, and Enya would heal all wounds and give birth to a happier world...until someone throws on Master of Puppets by Metallica as a joke and the world falls into chaos.


This is my vision...


I employed this tactic today as I had a student who, according to his paper, wanted to $%#%% %$%##$$# all rich white %#$%%#%%$ in the area.


I had One Love playing when he entered the classroom today...


He left with a "we cool" and a handshake/fist bump.


Thanks for reading everyone, the fact that I have "followers" and that I get hits every day, makes me smile- JR

No comments:

Post a Comment