Women are like books

So the other day in a meeting, don't ask me how cause I can't remember, my colleagues and I began discussing and extended metaphor that compares women with books. So here it goes.

Women and books-

The old saying "you can't judge a book by its cover" is supposed to be legit cause it's an "old saying." Well it's true...most of the time. On occasion though, you can look at a book's cover and judge it exactly as it is. In fact sometimes you can look at a book and say, "that looks ok" when in fact the book is incredibly bad and full of mindless garbage.

Of course it's a socially unacceptable to judge a person by their looks, but we all do anyways. Some women look hot, but are incredibly simple and annoying. Some are not as "aesthetically pleasing" but marvelous treasures may await behind their stone cold gaze. Of course there is everything inbetween as well, but this is just a small sampling.


Library books are well read and slightly worn from being passed from patron to patron. It's nice to read, but nobody wants to buy a used library book. Germs. You can always tell a library book from the big stamp on it.

Women with tramp stamps tattooed on their backs are also a sure sign that they're easy to check out, have been passed around a lot, and you probably don't want to own or settle down with one.


Books sometimes contain chapters that aren't very interesting. For example: Moby Dick had a 20+ page chapter which was basically just a discussion on whale species...I still love the book, but I just can't stand that chapter.

Women, like books, are never going to be completely perfect. Each woman/story has a "whale species chapter" that you have to endure, but regardless of the occasional flaws, Moby Dick is still one of my all time favorite novels. Women with flaws are the norm. Get over it and enjoy the book. For though the difference between a hump back whale and an orca may bore you, there's always a great harpooning action sequence at the end where Ahab figuratively goes down with a giant man eating metaphor. Sadly some men only accept the perfect book, which doesn't exist, so they die alone never having read the adventure of their lives.


Books are great to hold and be with. Reading a book can be one of the most enjoyable things to do on a Sunday afternoon. Now people are reading books on kindle...and it's not the same.

Women are great to hold and be with. Sunday afternoon with a woman is ten times better than Sunday afternoon with football (Unless the woman wants to watch football with you). Now-a-days men have stopped being with real women and are instead infatuated with electronic versions. Texting/Facebooking/etc has replaced the fun awkwardness of trying to hold on to a book with one hand while eating a snack with the other. We may say that we "read" the book, but all you did was look at an electronic device...it wasn't real.


Some books are exciting and thrill the reader. Life and limb is risked, guns are fired, space-ships are blown up etc etc. While some books are written by British people, and nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING happens. People talk, and talk and talk and in the end, someone dies of natural causes and people drink tea.

Some women are exciting and you wake up thinking, "boy oh boy I get to be with that woman today." Other women are boring and make you want not call them for a few weeks. You take them about because they are a girl, but they are as boring as C-span.

That's about all I have tonight. I'll probably get a lot of feminist slams because this may be degrading to women, however I'm only writing this because I was told to by my colleagues. I could just as easily write one about men. In fact, why don't you leave a comment with your own, "Men are like books" lines.
Here I'll get you started.
Men are like books because the older they get, the more they sit around and do nothing but gather dust and look handsome when displayed.
JR