Arby's is too expensive!
Taco Bell is delicious but their food causes intestinal remorse!
Playstations and X-Box are too expensive!
Cereal doesn't have cool prizes any more!
The rent is TOO DAMN HIGH!
Ben Roethlesburger is going to the Super Bowl AGAIN!
My pants keep getting holes in the knees and my wife throws them out!
My students at night school are gassy and I'm in a small room with no ventilation!
The Jazz are playing like CHUMPS!
My stomach hair keeps getting caught on my belt...and it HURTS!
Cartoons now-a-days are freaking LAME! Where the Loony Tunes at?
My dishwasher is SKETCHY!
Movie theaters are getting too Expensive!
I didn't realize how much I'd want my original Star Wars toys when I was a little kid and now I only have a handful of them LEFT!
Betty White is just a name, she was on like ONE show about old ladies and now she's super FAMOUS! WHY NOT ME?! I'M STILL YOUNG! TAP INTO THIS TALENT NOW, NOT WHEN I'M 85!!!
Gas is too PRICEY!
They keep pushing the remake of RED DAWN back!
Possums aren't as cute as DISNEY makes them out to be! They are freaking CREEPY!
In the movies they play banjos and smile a lot. Have you ever actually SEEN one of these things? They're like those nasty creatures from the Critters movies!
I-15 still has a bunch of stupid POT HOLES!
Jodie Sweetin that played Stephanie Tanner on Full House never responded to MY LOVE LETTER that I wrote in 3rd GRADE!
I haven't been to Disneyland for 12 YEARS!
The RENT is still TOO DAMN HIGH!
I hate RE-RUNS!
I hate that there is some kind of GLUE or WAX on the toilet at my school and every time I go to use it I have to move my head to different angles to see if it's pee or wax/glue STUFF!
Hot dogs come in packs of 10 and buns come in a STUPID PACK OF 8! I have to buy 4 packs of dogs and 5 packs of buns to make it all work out and I can't eat 40 hot dogs before the BUNS go BAD!
Like my students LIKE say LIKE after LIKE everything they like say when they like raise their like hands! LIKE!
The shirt I'm wearing keeps coming UN-TUCKED!
The other day I tried to make ramen noodles by draining the water out of the pan and then stirring in the FLAVOR PACKETS! It tasted TERRIBLE!
I still don't own a DARTH VADER/STORMTROOPER/ or BOBA FETT Costume!
3-d Movies are LAME! STOP MAKING EVERYTHING IN 3-D!!!
I live an hour away from Sundance and I've never GONE!
I hate when you eat OREOS and then you have no milk to WASH IT DOWN! THAT IS THE WORST!
I don't like BOLOGNA anymore! I used to LOVE IT! WHAT HAPPENED!?
I hate when I get a shrimp that still has the turd VEINY THING IN IT!
People still think Mullets are LEGIT!
I can't speak SPANISH!
and finally,
THE RENT IS JUST TOO....DAMN...HIGH!
(even though I don't pay rent, I pay a mortgage, and it is reasonably priced...)
Hahahahahahahaha! Justin...you are hilarious! And I agree. Possums are creepy. I think they look like a big ol' nasty rat. ROUS. AND just so you know, I like to drain the water out with my ramen and then put the ramen packet in but you can't add all of it....it's too much cuz it usually makes the broth so it makes it gross. AND just for the record, I totally think you should be famous.
ReplyDeleteWow, thanks Kelsey! That totally just made my Friday even better than it already is- JR
ReplyDelete"They keep pushing the remake of RED DAWN back!" The funny thing is that I've never seen Red Dawn. I typically don't watch Swayze movies so maybe that's why but I hear that it was the very first PG-13 movie.
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