Dream Jobs

I'm a teacher. I freaking love being a teacher, but the paycheck, she aint so generous ya know what I mean? I'm taking steps to further my education, and in so doing, further my pay check, but what would my dream jobs be if I could suddenly break into another profession and rock that thing?


1- Writer for SNL, or some other comedy show.
I watch Saturday Night Live pretty much every week, but I don't watch it for the same reason as most people. Sure I wanna laugh, but I also want to improve my method of writing. I think that the genius writers on that show must have the most kickin job in the history of the world. Andy Sandberg sits down, writes a weird song for his digital short, then he gets to act like a total fool on tv and he gets paid big bucks to do it. I want to write for SNL. I think that if you gave me the week's headlines and 3 days in an office, I could make a great "Weekend Update" skit. Who were the geniuses behind that skit with the weird girl on the Lawrence Welk Show? In fact I once had this great idea to do a Twilight parody where instead of a vampire it was a Frankenstein... I should have submitted it somewhere cause SNL was there a few months after I had the idea. Dang it all.



2- Sports Radio Personality
I love sports, and I really love sports radio. I love the analytical approach that each radio/tv personality brings to the table. I love listening to Jim Rome. The guy is hilarious. I've laughed harder at his show than every Adam Sandler/ Jim Carey movie combined. There is a culture within the program where the clones (listeners) get into inside jokes and language that the casual listener just doesn't get. Jim's take on Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka being a coward had me in tears. "It's not your ticket old man, it's Chuck's. He pulled the ticket out, not you, you coward, you just sat in bed watching the Price is Right for 20 years and suddenly you are up dancing." I love talking the NBA and I really love talking the NFL. I think i'd do a pretty good job at this gig, however I'd have to start off at the 2-6 a.m. time slot and build a following of over caffeinated truckers.



3- Photographer
I've been taking pictures for years and feel like I'm a pretty good shot, but I want more. I want to have all the lights and equipment that I desire. I want to do photo shoots for Vanity Fair or Rolling Stone. I want to come back from my Yellowstone trips with really incredible pieces of art, not snapshots that I think look good but pale in comparison to the professional stuff. I want to sit under the basket of the NBA finals and get a picture of Lebron James dunking over Chris Mullen. (Chris Mullen? That's a heck of a reference there Reeves). I want to be the man with the golden eye!


4- Trailer maker
This came to me the other day. I've seen some movie trailers (previews) this year that were better than actual full length films. I think it would be AWESOME to get a film a year before the release, watch it, love it, and then make notes as to where to cut and what to use. I get to select the music, the shots, and everything inbetween. This my friends would be a heck of a job. Plus I could offer my own voice as the "movie guy" voice. "(gruffly) In a land where no man can find peace. In a station wagon with no A.C. One man...one desire....the 5 dollar box at Taco Bell..."