Oh No! They're eating my MOM!

Wow...
I'm finally able to say that I have seen the "best worst movie" ever.
Troll 2 folks...I don't know what else to tell ya.
I would love to get into a plot summary but I can honestly not tell you what was going on. Here's what I DO know:

-There are no Trolls in Troll 2...they aren't even mentioned. The villains are Goblins

-If you eat a snack from the goblins, you start to sweat green, and then turn into plant-like goo that is then devoured by the goblins

-The goblin queen has powerful magic, and yet still wears coke bottle glasses. She likes to turn horny teens into trees?

-Dead grandfathers can appear at random and take physical form...which defies all theological reason and makes me doubt the existence of a just and orderly deity.

-The best way to stop your family from eating Goblin snacks is to freeze time and then urinate on the table while they are frozen.

-It takes almost an hour for the average family to realize that the town of "Nilbog" that they are vacationing in, is actually "Goblin" spelled backwards.

-If a woman tries to seduce you with fishnet stockings and an ear of corn? RUN!

-A Goblin's greatest fear is a "double-decker bologna sandwich."



Some of the masks were somewhat creepy, but they kept deciding to zoom in close on the one with really fake non-moving eyes.
The dialogue was absolutely positively dreadful. I could act better in my SLEEP.

Watching a good movie with friends = Awesome
Watching a bad movie with friends = Lame
Watching a movie that is so BAD that it is good with friends = Best Night Ever'

May I recommend to one and all that you find a copy somewhere. I believe it comes in a cheap 2-pack at Walmart with Troll 1 (which actually features Trolls). Heck, just the other day I saw that Troll 2 is now on Blu-Ray!

Sit down with a bowl of popcorn, some bologna sandwiches, and good company with sick senses of humor and enjoy.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105643/
The above link will let you watch the whole stinking mess. Good luck!

Here's the movie in its entirety. Dig it BABY!