The night before my 29th Birthday- Time to reflect a bit

So I'll be 29 in approximately 5 hours and 35 minutes.

No more American Idol eligibility

Not cool to die at this age (missed that by 2 years, all the greats died at 27)

I've got a wife, two kids, a mortgage, and 2 teaching jobs. I have 2 cars, a mini-van and beat up Hyundai.

I need to get into grad school in order to better my (our) situation.

I'm trying to get into an administration program. Principals and higher ups make much more money than teachers do.

My dilemma used to be that I didn't want to leave teaching to get an administration job because it's just not as "fun."

Now though, I'm starting to really want to get into this. I became a teacher because I'm an idealist and I wanted to change lives. I figured the pay-check would compensate...and it's nice don't get me wrong, but Hell's bells I could use some more cash flow and one less job.

As a teacher I touch/influence the lives of roughly 165 kids at the High School and roughly 12 at the private school.

I feel good about the changes I see in these young people's lives, and yet I have the desire to influence even more. I'm sure that as an administrator I'll be influencing in a different way, but I think that I can bring a fire to that position that will light kids up.

I love working at the treatment center school that I'm in. I think it would be great if I could be the head of something very similar. A trade school? An extreme sports program that integrates school? I don't know. I just want to help kids not suck at life. As I look around currently I see students making bad decisions that are only going to lead to heartbreak and failure. This is our nation's future...currently it looks kinda dim.

So I'm 29 tomorrow...My goal is to be financially more successful and making a bigger difference in more lives by the time I'm 33. That be my 4 year plan...

I wish I had something funnier to say on my 69th post.
Life done punches you in the face once in a while. I like to pretend that I'm Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV. The Russians in life might take steroids and kill the Carl Weathers in your life, but you gotta keep on keepin on. - JR

127 OW! ers.

Last weekend I went to the movies and saw the Aaron Ralston inspired film "127 hours" starring James Franco.
First off- Franco deserves the Academy Award for acting hands down...there shouldn't even be a question.

The basic synposis of the film is that Aaron Ralston, an overly confident outdoorsman, finds himself stuck literally "between a rock and a hard place." While hiking, Aaron dislodges a boulder and falls down a small narrow in Southern Utah's Canyon Lands National Park. The boulder comes to rest on his right arm, effectively pinning him to the wall. He must survive for as long as he can on what meager supplies he's brought. In order to survive, he must amputate his own arm using nothing but a dull weatherman tool.

I don't see a lot of Rated R movies, however this was one of my exceptions. Why? Because it made me a better person. (Not sure how this summer's "Predators" made me a better person, but I digress?)

If ever there was a metaphor for life, this is it.

Folks, we all find ourselves being held back from something that we really want. Each of us has a metaphorical arm stuck between the boulder and the wall. If we can't get rid of it, we die (fail). Though painful, uncomfortable, and extremely graphic, we gotta do what's necessary to free ourselves from certain death. If we have the will-power to break our own bones and cut through our own dead flesh, then we can survive this game called life and leave the theater in a good mood.

Here's the trailer, may it inspire you as it inspired me. You may have to link back to Youtube to get the whole screen. I think my blog done shrunk it.

My new class? Geeks 101!

Next year...I get to teach a new class...

I've been teaching straight English 10 for the last 3 years. I've loved it and all, but I'm ready to work with 12 grade (further developed) minds.

Today they granted me my new class: Sci-Fi and Fantasy Literature...

Are you kidding me?

jIH ta'laHbe' Har vam vam 'oH ghoS Daq nagh!!!

(Translated into Klingon from a website run by presumably single dudes: I can't believe this! This is going to rock!)





What can you expect from this class students?

1. Your final paper must be typed in either Klingon or Elvish...It's possible that by May we'll have mastered Ewok or Hutteese so those might be options as well.

2. I'm going to dress like a freaking Jedi every day when studying sci-fi. When we are studying fantasy, my brown Jedi robe is now a Hobbity cloke thingy.

3. Quotes Quotes Quotes!
Student: Mr. Reeves, I haven't turned in my final paper yet!

Mr. Reeves: That is why you fail...

Fire alarm goes off.

Student: Mr. Reeves, I think we need to evacuate!

Grand Moff Reeves: Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.

Student: Mr. Reeves I really have to use the bathroom. Can I have the hall pass?

Mr. Reeves the Gray: YOU SHALL NOT have the hall PASS!

4. Interesting punishments

If my student is talking too much, I'm going to duct tape their mouth shut and write "Restraining Bolt" on the the front of the tape.

Or maybe I'll bind their hands, make them stand on a desk, and push them off into the sarlaac pit (made up of old diseased coats I've found at the school)

5. Homework won't always consist of "go home and read chapters 3-4" It'll consist of "Go home and read issues 3-4"

6. I'll make a sorting hat and pull names out when I need a reader or an answer from the class.

7. TROG-DOR!!!!! Da na na NA da na na NA da na na NA da na na NA NA

8. Once a month I can fake like a chest bursting alien is hatching out of me! I'll writhe and scream on the ground and throw fake blood around.

9. Persausive essays... Pro life vs women's right? Nope. Gun control vs 2nd amendment? Nope. Alien vs Predator? Yes. Wolverine vs Batman? Yes. Scott Pilgrim vs the World? Oh HECK yes!

10. Each day starts in pitch blackness...then the opening theme to Star Trek starts. "Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before" Followed by me saying, "Students, set your phasers to FUN!" hahahahaha

Do you get the vibe that I'm excited? Yeah... I'm pumped.

Wiki Wacky Leaks

So I guess massive intel leaks are all the rage now. "They're like so hot," - Paris Hilton.

And so I'm going to spill the beans about some secrets that YOU never knew, right here on the Ruse of Freaking Fools! How playa is that?

Wiki Leak 1- Richard Nixon lost the presidency after a debate with JFK on On 26 September 1960. Sources say that Nixon looked bad because he'd had knee surgery so he was underweight, unshaven, and sickly looking while JFK was tanned and looking good. The truth of the matter was, that on September 26th 1960, there was a full moon. Richard Nixon was in fact: A WEREWOLF! Shortly after the debate he ran to his dressing room and handcuffed his arms to his chair so that he couldn't hurt anyone. The next day the room was trashed, and for the first time we see here the report filed by the maid:

Memo:

¡AH ese cuarto fue desechar totalmente! Pienso que Nixon es un hombre de lobo

Translation: WOW that room was totally trashed! I think that Nixon is a wolf man

So there you have it. That's one wiki leak that you never knew did ya? DID YA?!

Wiki leak #2

The Olsen twins were actually Olsen triplets, but Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen out-shined their other sibling: Hilda Riesgraf Olsen. Though similar in all physical aspects, Hilda was not as talented as her 2 fellow hatchlings. She appeared in one episode of Full House...only one. It was an un-aired Easter special where Michelle Tanner was hit by a bus and was in a full body cast for half the episode. Who was in that body cast? I think this highly classified document (taken from Mary Kate's own personal diary) tells it all.

Dear Diary,

Today we shot scenes for an upcoming episode. The Michelle character is in a full body cast for most of the episode. I told Ashley that this would be a good chance to let Hilda take a shot (hehehe) You should have seen her face! She was so freaking excited to be part of the show! When she saw what she had to do, her smile quivered a little bit, but she tried to pretend that she was still excited!

I'm still totally crushing on Bob Saggat, is that wrong?

Mary Kate

Wow right?

Finally the 3rd Wiki Leak that goes beyond belief and really damages the credibility of the government:

The fat kid who played Augustas Gloop actually died on the set of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. That's right. "don't worry Charlie, he can't drink it all." Well he didn't drink it all, but he inhaled enough of the stuff to drown him.

Mrs. Gloop: He's Gone! He'll be made into marshmallows in five seconds!

Willy Wonka: Impossible, my dear lady! That's absurd! Unthinkable!

Mrs. Gloop: Why?!

Willy Wonka: Because that pipe doesn't go to the marshmallow rooom! It goes to the fudge room!

Actually, it's impossible because the kid was already dead. The shot of the fat kid in the tube? You can tell it's a stunt double.

Memo:

Due to the tragic loss of Michael Bollner, we will need for all child actors to sign waivers and come up with proof of life and health insurance coverage- MGM

Now you can doubt this claim all you want, but IMDB doesn't lie: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0093183/ It was his ONLY movie...

There I just Wiki Leaked all over the place. Deal with it, and accept the truth- JR

P.S. Trust No One- (X-files)

The Island of Misfit Toys

I watched the 1964 classic "Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer" last night with my 2 1/2 year old son. It had been a while since I'd witnessed the majesty of that show. Choppy animation, a sketchy at best back story for Rudolph that involves a frightening snow beast and a flying lion. Not to mention that hauntingly beautiful song that the doe sings to make Rudy happy: "There's aaaallllllwaaaays tomooooorrrrowwwwww...."

The misfit toys are the best part of the show by far. Basically King Moon Razor, or whatever it is, the flying lion, flies around and brings unwanted toys that have for the most part, easily fixed defects in them, back to his castle to "chill."
Charlie in the boxHe is the sentry guard that is one murder away from being Heath Ledger's Joker. His voice is all sorts of creepy with an awkward emphasis of words. "NObody wants a CHARlie in the box." Dude, go to court, get your name changed, deal with it. I can see the fated Christmas morning now. Little kid opens his gift, gets a box, starts cranking the little handle on the box, and this joker pops up. SOMEHOW, the kid knows his name is Charlie, and he throws it out. I suppose Charlie could have just lied about it. "NO SERIOUSly kid my name isn't CHARlie, it's JACK.
The Elephant


UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN! SMALL POX! RUN! RUN EVERYBODY! THE ELEPHANT HAS SMALL POX!!! AAAAAARGH! THERE IS NO CURE!!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
And that's all I have to say about the elephant...Yukon Cornelius died 2 days after the movie ended of Small Pox related complications.

The Cowboy that rides the Ostrich



Nobody wants a cowboy that rides an ostrich eh? Why not? Think about it, it's a lot harder to hit with bullets from far away so he'll be quite a bit safer. Horses don't attack people...but ostriches have been known to tear you up with their talons. You know what I'd pay good money for? A George W. Bush riding an ostrich. That'd be sweet!

As for the bird that swims...that's just a sin against nature. Yukon would do well to have just pulled his gun out and shot the little bugger.

Charlie: OH my GOSH! YOU just KILLED the BIIIRRRRD FISH!
Yucon: That's right I did, sin against nature that thing...SILLLLLVERRRR!

The Doll
Is she the jilted lover of SNL's Mr. Bill?Was she left on the doorstep by Jack in the Box's mascot?
I guess we'll never know.

Finally,

King Moonraizer

A flying lion? The perfect predator. Why doesn't he kill Rudolph then? He had an elf, a reindeer, and a fat bearded prospector in his HANDS, and he let them go. What the audience doesn't see is that the misfit toys put a tracer on Santa's sleigh when they flew by the island. Rudolph 2 was never produced because it consisted of King Moon Flying Predator Lion Guy following the tracer back to the North Pole. The battle scene between the Bumble and the Lion is incredible but was left on the cutting room floor to everyone's dismay. We need a Christmas song about Flying Lion Predator Moon Death...that'd be an instant classic. Somebody please respond to this with your idea for that song.

JR